Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Too busy being micro-managed by my father to post right now.

Did I spell managed correctly?

*EDIT* Well, I have some time. So I just typed about my favorite character in Romeo and Juliet. I like Mercutio the best, but I chose Ben Volio becuase it'd be easier to write a couple paragraphs on him.

Currently listening to: Oye Como Va by Santana. Well, actually while I was typing that I switched to "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown".

Wyndham thing tonight, so that'll be fun. I hope someone brings the music to "Blue Skies". I just have a photocopy. I guess I'll bring that just in case.

I think Tim updated his blog (check the sidebar). Yeah, I checked it out. He did. And stole my joke. AGAIN! Mine is "I'll (insert something someone just said) you", like, "I'll blog you!". You get the idea.

Alright I'm going to search "My Documents" for something funny to post...

Gold! My old paper on being a patriot. I chose the unique option. So here it is:

Serving your country is many things. The things that immediately come to mind are the Army, the Navy, and the Air Force. It is true that many people are in the Army. In 2003, 1.4 million people worked in the armed services. That’s a lot of patriots.

But let’s look at other forms of helping your country. Every day, someone goes to the store to buy food. This person is a contributor to our country. Billions upon billions are collected in taxes. So people are helping America by buying things. Thousands of things each day are bought. Many people, without knowing, are helping their country. Let’s start from the beginning.

Say someone buys a donut. The money goes to the cashier, who puts it in the register. The manager of the store later opens the register and takes out the money. He distributes the money to his various employees and then takes the money home to his house. The owner notices that he has some extra money, so he takes the cash and hires an employee. The employee, a month later, gets paid. The employee takes the money to the dollar store across the street and buys a toy train. The money goes to the cashier. The taxes go to our country.

The people who served our country so far have been the following:

1.The buyer (paying the owner)
2.The owner (paying the new employee)
3.The new employee (paying the cashier, and in turn, the government)

This, in my opinion, is the easiest way of helping your country, and yourself. This is the true spirit of capitalism. It makes it easy to serve your country. You do many things every day to serve your country and never know it. Need proof? Did you go to work today? Did you drive your car today? Did you turn on your light this morning? Did you have a cup of coffee when you woke up? Have lunch yet? What about breakfast? Do you have a refrigerator? No, let’s make that last question easier: Do you have a house?

If you answered “yes” to one of those questions, you have served your country. You, without knowing it, are a patriot at heart.

So the next time you think about patriotism, think about it differently. Don’t think about if you are in the Navy. Think about if you woke up this morning.

Wow, I was funny in seventh grade! Alright one more thing... Oh! My old article on the pledge!

“I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands. One nation, under god, with liberty and justice for all.”

We’ve all heard it; it’s the pledge of allegiance. We say it every day. It seems like nothing to us, but some others are outraged by this salute to American patriotism. Is it right? Two people argue over the few issues with these 31 simple words. One has no problem with the patriotic and beautiful clause. The cultish and 1st amendment violator maddens the other. What do you think?

Dylan, 7th grader and reporter, (edited out so stalkers can't find us) member, is for the Pledge. He sees no problem with it. He thinks it binds the country together.

Sam, 7th grade (edited out so stalkers can't find us) member, feels that the Pledge is one more way that the government violates its own rules.

Following is their discussion (note: D is Dylan, S is Sam).

S: Dylan, how can you be for the pledge? For one thing, the two words “under god” are main offenders of the 1st amendment. This amendment clearly states the need for separation of church and state. Using the words “under god” are certainly religious.

D: Well the thing is, you have to realize that this pledge was written in 1892 over 100 years ago, and the people who founded this country believed in a god to help them solve their problems.

S: WRONG! Sorry, Dylan. The pledge was written in the late 1800’s, that’s true. But the words “under god” were added as an act of congress in the year 1954 in response to “godless communism”. If you think that in 1954, people relied on god in the government, you need some help. This was during the cold war, after World War II. This was not a period when a whole lot of people had trust in god. With nuclear missiles pointing at their heads, the cold war put the nation in serious distress. I don’t think congress put the words “under god” in the pledge really thought god was going to solve their problems.

D: For one thing you are absolutely right that “under god” was added in 1954, but still a lot of American citizens took faith in god during that time. I understand and agree that America is supposed to be the land of religious freedom but still the pledge technichally never specifies which god it’s talking about. There are many gods people worship in this world.

S: You’ve got to be kidding. Since when does the U.S. get to say that there is a god? The fact that the constitution mentions the word “god” at all is a violation of separation of church of state. What about atheists? In fact, let’s go back to the summer of 2002, when an atheist in California filed a suit in the 9th circuit court on behalf of his daughter, who was forced to say the pledge. The Supreme Court got right up and said the man didn’t have “standing”, or he wasn’t important enough. In a country where the constitution gives power to the people, is it fair to say that a person doesn’t have enough power to recommend something. Being Jewish, could I recommend this bill, or should I be Christian. Can I do this, or do I have to be a police officer, or a judge. I normally would have gotten years in jail, but instead I got 5 months jail, 5 months house arrest because I have my own cooking show (Martha Stewart). Do I have more power than another because I’m white? It’s just not fair.

D: You know life isn’t always fair, but who said you even have to live here. If you have that much of a problem with a few words then move to Canada, it’s awesome in the summer.

S: Are you serious? Or are you just being stupid?

D: I’m serious. If you don’t want to pledge your allegiance to this country, and pull your weight as an American citizen then leave.

S: Oh, my head. Ah, well… Listen Dylan, that’s just not a practical solution. We live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Why should we be forced to move? You proved my point, by the way. You showed that the U.S. isn’t fair, and that neither is the Pledge. Not fair to atheists. Your suggestion that they move to Canada showed that you personally believe you have no power over the government.

D: Someone gave us land to live in and be free, but unfortunately there’s been a lot of kinks in that, look at slavery, look at women’s rights, look at religious feuding, go way back and look at how we had to win our independence from the English. My point is that this is a young country and there are still some things to be solved. Things take time and debating made this country what it is today. You have to fight for your rights for freedom (and to party also!). Many of these types of discussions will be held in the future. And who knows maybe this will never be solved.

S: So what do you think?

So those of you that are lazy and don't actually read my posts, read the patriotism thing. That's the funniest.

Okay that's it for today.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

On Webcams

Well... they aren't actually webcams, persay. Just a Logitech Quickcam. It can be a webcam, but it costs like a billion dollars a month or something like that.

But I had this cam and it was broken (my new nerdy motto: things aren't broken, they're just not fixed yet), so I fixed it and downloaded some software and then I made a video where I was lip-synching to ben folds. And then I told my sister she could show it to her friend (stupid me) and that embarrassed me. By the way I'll never show it to any of you, not even on your death beds (which I won't be there to see because I'll be DEAD! Yay! I'm not really happy about this but I thought it would freak you guys out). Anyway that was a lot of fun...

This is so boring, and I'm very tired and depressed. So here's a funny link to keep you punks happy: MADNESS!

The End

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Ice Cream and Cupcakes

So I just thought that you all could benefit from an entry that doesn't complain about anything or include mind numbing repetative talk about a certain someone (and yes I'm related to him). Which is funny because when you think about it what else is there. I mean, if people were going to not complain or talk about themselves what else would they do? In my house it would be like watch tv and eat. And that would be it. We wouldn't talk. At all.

Anyway I do like that bread website. It's pretty funny. And because I am a team member on the blog and because it's Saturday night I am officially announcing the LOTW winner as the anonymous commenter who sent in this link: http://www.eskimo.com/~spban/bread.html. (yes I'm technology challenged unlike Sam who knows how to make a link. I don't but we can all deal with it)

Except for Sam. Who will probably be really mad about the LOTW thing. Because technically I'm not authorized to pick a winner. But after like a million days as a team member I think I am up to the challenge. Plus we all remember what happened that one time that I took Sam's password. Which technically led up to this moment. And the quote about being high. Which when you think about it is pretty funny. Anyway I'm not high. And you shouldn't be either. Unless you want to because free will does something or other. Spins the world I think...

And my mom says I shouldn't talk about being high anymore. Because your mom could read this and then she would be like "oh my god it says the word high on Sam's blog! his sister is corrupting you and now you will never be able to go on the internet again." And since we all use the internet obsessively, and would die without exposure everyday, you know how bad that would be.

Comment on Carissa's xanga. It will make her day.

So today I watched Friends.

So it's dark outside. Because it's night time. And even though my computer will think I posted this at like two in the afternoon it's really like 6:00. And I haven't even started taking notes or doing anything else. But I did want to post the LOTW winner. So there. And I hope that that anonymous person will be happy. And up my allowance. Or give me an allowance at all. Because I really do deserve one and if anyone could it would be that person. Who I like alot. And happen to be related to.

Anyway. So I did what I had to do and now we will just have to wait for Sam to yell at me. But c'est la vie mon amis. Bon nuit!

Oh! I forgot to ask a question. Ok who is cooler Artemis Fowl or Harry Potter? Or Gandalf? And could Artemis beat Gandalf? Or Dumbledore? Have we done that one yet?

Friday, February 24, 2006

Why I'm Going to Die

This is a list of why I'm going to die earlier than any of you...
  1. I don't believe in god, so he'll smite me.
  2. The sink just spit at me. I know this isn't a reason but it can't be good.
  3. I'm a horrible person.
  4. I eat crap.
  5. I don't exercise.
  6. Well, I do exercise. I run on the treadmill. But it seems like it would fit there.
  7. My house is chock full o' radon (8.9 PiCo/l. I think that's the unit of measurement)
  8. I've never fowarded a chain letter in my life, so the collective bad luck will kill me.
  9. Um... that's it.
That wasn't really that funny, I guess.

Oh, and for the record, I'm not depressed. I think it's pretty funny, in fact. Don't comfort me. AND DON'T CELEBRATE IF YOU'RE THE FIRST COMMENTER! No one cares.

Here is a list of my pet peeves...

  1. The cell phone "Blackberry"
  2. People who don't like Google
  3. Gideon's People
  5. MySpace
  6. Products that advertise twice in a row on TV but different ads
  7. Products that show the same ad twice in one show
  8. Those "1+1" inserts in Maximum PC
  9. Teachers that I have to say "7, 7, 7"
  10. People that ask questions so that you'll answer and then ask them
  11. People that ask too many questions of the teacher during math tests
  12. Math tests
  13. Homework
  14. People that walk both slow and in a line when I'm trying to get to Spanish. It's like I'm in a time warp, people!
  15. People who pretend that nerds are cool to make themselves funny
  16. People who argue stupidly to annoy you
  17. People who go "blah" every time you talk to interrupt you
  18. People in general

Uh... that's it for now.

Oh, you people have to read Carissa's comment on the last post. Basically it says I'm lucky she doesn't beat me up if I tried to kiss her. And she made fun of my size. Geez, that's rough.

And Hong will have to explain her view on Middle School relationships.

*Edit* Wait, why is it scary that I am your best guy friend. And the idea of the question is that your best guy friend comes and kisses you, so, for the two questions: I would kiss you because that is what the question asked, and: You didn't think about who would be your best guy friend? Isn't that the idea of the question?

And Hong does not give me a complex of any sort. Ha! Well, really I'm just too lazy to type inferiority, which I just did.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Cost of the War and a Really Stupid Survey

Check this out!

Yeah that's pretty slick...

Hong doesn't give me an inferiority complex, Carissa. We have a special bond (7, 7, 7. You'll have to ask her), you know.

Alright this is a Xanga thing and it's very girly but I'm so gay I'm not even trying to hide it (should trying be bold? But more importantly I'm kidding).

So here it is...

What are you sitting on? Old chair from a diner.

When was the last time you swam? At Jon's house... probably my Bar Mitzfah

Do you like taking bubble baths? I gues

If anyone were to serenade you, who would you want it to be? Someone who's good at the guitar... or who can sing...

Do you prefer crooked smiles or straight ones? The one's with teeth

Dimples or no? No! That's my thing.

How about freckles? Yeah that's funny! There's this kid in my sister's alef class with freckles and she's adorable, but I'm afraid if I tell her she'll tell her mom, who will in turn think I'm a pervert.

What do you think of Beethoven? Beethoven loved the country...

Of the Backstreet Boys? Backstreets back alright! no but I hate them...

If you had a burning secret and you just HAD to tell someone, who would you tell? My wonderful sister!

You look out the window and see it’s snowing. You: IT'S SNOWING?!?! wait, it's not. That was mean!

A hot stranger pulls you over in the halls and starts to kiss you. You: hit him in the stomache, then kick him or maybe throw stuff at him. Then laugh and go to class.

Have you ever gotten detention? And for what? YES!! I threw a pencil out the window! Score!

Lindsay Lohan was better in: Lindsay who? Oh, who am I kidding? Mean Girls.

Are you smart? In some respects, I guess.

If so, do you have to stdy? Or are you just good like that? Before the test, and before class. Crap I have a vocab quiz tommorow.

If you’re listening to music right now, what genre is that music classified as? Umm... I guess rock. It's a ochipella (spelled wrong. It's the kind that only sings) group singing "Happy Together".

What do you think of (and we all know these types, don’t just tell me labels belong on soup cans, dearie):

Preps: JB! He goes to a prep school. And my friend. And a turkey. HONK!

Nerds: Me, Tim, and my eventual wife.

Skaters: Flat bottomed shoes and Mike T. And Dain, I guess. But he's not like them. Or at least like their stereotype.

Goths: None in our school. Or if they are they have the look but not the personality.

Stoners: "THE LOTTERY from last year" was Carissa's response. That's funny! I just got it! Umm... oh! This kid in my school was like, "when I first smoked a joint I smoked the wrong end". Silly people! There is no wrong end of a joint. Unless he put the lit end in his mouth. Then it wasn't his first joint (if you don't get it read it a couple of times until you do)

Sluts: Almost all of the sixth grade girls and the seventh graders who make fun of me. Well, I made fun of them first. Hey! They were flirting. It's not my fault.

Overachievers: Jimmy. Not Emily. She just does well and then fishes for compliments. If someone does this, just agree with them (i.e., fisher: "I'm so stupid" you: "Yes. Yes you are". See? It's fun fun fun!)

People who just float around the social ladder: Used to be me, until I settled with Tim on "Nerd Rock" in sixth grade.

Think of your best guy friend. If he kissed you without warning, you would: Ahahahah!!!! That would be hilarious. But really I'd be worried... But I'll add the question...

Think of your best girl friend. If she kissed you without warning, you would: Pull away, then think about it. Who is my best girl friend?

Your best friend turns out to be homosexual. You: I knew Tim was gay (note: this is just funnier with him. He's a good friend, but I don't really have a best friend)

If you could have any other hair color, what would it be? Ooh, ooh! Blue! Or pink!

And eye color? Shaped like money signs. or pure white. That would be scary.

When was the last time you felt violated? When I met Mr. M!

Is there one person out there you just don’t get? Dain. Definitely Dain.

Are you not all there most of the time? Only when I'm worried. But mostly I'm "there".

What do you daydream about most? myself! and Jeff S. He's dreamy... *sigh*.

And do you have any recurring night dreams? Yeah. My mom falls out of the car when she stoops down to get the newspaper. Then the door slams and the car drives away.

If you could PICK to have a certain dream tonight, what would it be? I would be playing computer.

Name one time/event you miss: Europe at five years old.

Have you ever gone to camp? If so, what for? Yeah. Sports camp. To be made fun of (think testosterone-filled morons, me, and Sam H. I can't write his last name, but he also has a sister named Rachel and he went to my hebrew school and normal school)

Do you consider yourself to be at all emo? I don't know what this means, so probably not.

Do you enjoy basketball? Yeah... NO!

Who are three people that whenever you see them, you just can’t help but grin? Umm... Tim (I recognise that high pitched voice!), Dain (Strange, and laughs at Jeff B. who looks up the skirt of nuns), and Jen (those arm-warmers with the dogs on them).

What kind of computer are you on? Gateway, several years old.

Do you ever text message? Google Talk!

Ohh... that's all? That was fun. Oh, you should all read it! You're probably in it somewhere.

Hey, that occured to me! Am I Carissa's best guy friend? You'd run away from me if I kissed you? Man, that's pretty bad. Maybe it's how short I am. I'd have to knock you over first if I intended to kiss you. But it's better if we stay friends, I guess (*wink wink*. But am I your best guy friend? Who else is there? Maybe like Chris or something. He'd have to knock you down too).

Yeah I didn't give any revealing answers, for my own sake. Mostly just jokes.

I'm updating the My Readers thing.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


I would like you all to first know that the screen at which I sit is several times larger than my own head. And the keyboard is weird, because the space button feels all messed up.

Today I am forcing myself to ramble. This is the kind of thing you people love, right? So that's what I'm planning on doing. So here I go...

First I'll need some inspiration. Of course the night sky right outside my window is it, so my topic is constellations.

When most people hear the word "constellation", they think of the big dipper and the little dipper. These, contrary to popular belief, are actually not constellations. Though I know everyone reading this already knew that, I'm informing you of that.

Should a constellation really be named after a spoon? Of course I won't answer that. How is it that a simple three pieces of cutlery (fork, knife, spoon) can pick up every food. Are only knives considered cutlery? Maybe silverware. What are plastic utensils, then? Plasticware? Maybe I should just call them "utensils". But that is not specific only to knives and stuff. And why can't you drink water with a spoon? You eat soup with a spoon. Or is it drink soup? Hmm...

I got it! Pasta! None of the utensils (cutlery, whatever), can pick up pasta. No, wait, damnit! They use forks to twirl and spoons to lift it up in Europe. Why did I have to go to Europe? You punks would have never known that. Argh!

Can you use onomatopoeias (is that how you make it plural?) to use words like "argh"? Or "ow"? How come everyone uses "ow", or "ouch"? Is it a natural tendency, or maybe it's just because that's what we say in the U.S. (if that's the end of a sentence, does it have another period? U.S..? is that right? And where do you put the period? After parentheses, or before them? And are the beginning of things that are in parentheses capitilized? Who am I talking to?). In Spain they say "Ay", like "ahy", kind of.

My mom's telling me to stop blogging now. What time is it? 9:11 PM? Is that a bad omen? Who cares? Are these too many questions?

I'm quickly checking my comments to see if there is anything to address...

Yeah, the anonymous person is smart (wait, I just saw a gnat... are there gnats around?). Who can think of the funniest way to take over the world? Email it to me or post on The Guest Blog. NO MACY'S CARDS, Tim! I stole that from Dilbert. For everyone else, Tim steals my jokes, which I often steal from others. But it's different because rarely is it someone I know from whom I steal it (that was a confusing sentence but I'm too lazy to fix it).

The following is a list of girls who make me nervous because I think they judge me as annoying and obnoxious because they're smarter/as smart as me, and they're quiet. And they don't laugh at my jokes.

Oh but I doubt they actually do think that. Except for Catherine...

Catherine (especially. Does she hate me? I'm not sure...)
Emma (who doesn't laugh anyway. As far as I know)
Elizabeth (Ello)
umm... kind of Carissa

I know they are more. I'll update later.

Monday, February 20, 2006

The Importance of Being Ernest

Ah well. Here is Leah's post. She wants me to use her title. And for sure am I gonna critique it, like she critiqued my story. Hmph (is that spelled with a "u"? Could that possibly be an "u". Damn, the first time I actually start rambling I have to post that now.

No! I copied the link after the story, so now I have to go to gmail.

Alright, here it is...

It is important to be Ernest. Someone must always be Ernest at all times. If there are no Ernests in the world, then the evil Club of Mongoose (Known as COM) will take over the world. Then, they will poke Mankind for eternity with very sharp pointy sticks and force them to type on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years and write the collective work of George Lucas. Babies will be thrown in blenders along with bananas and just a hint of mint. Old people will have to watch hip-hop videos without complaining and talking of how music in their time was so much better. Fake cowboy former party-boys will be given inordinate amounts of power. COM was founded in 9 B.C., back when Jesus was still Jesusette and Romans had yet to gain mysterious British accents. To protect us from this threat, the Founding Fathers (George Washington, Nero and Colonel Sanders) decided to gather all the Ernests of the world and train them in the mystic ways of the Martial Arts. They call themselves Team EFF (Ernests of the Founding Fathers), and meet every other Sunday at Baskin Robbins. In winter, they meet at Arby’s, but few attend these meetings. The motto of Team EFF is Mongoose, We Don’t Want to be with You in the Day Time (In the Day, or in the Night). Sadly, these days the amount of Ernests is declining because it is a stupid name. Parents must name their children Ernest, or the entire human race is doomed! Gesundeit.

Well, first I have to do my "I didn't say..." thing.

I didn't say it would be more than one paragraph.

Now my critiquing: Well, certainly a rather pathetic attempt to capture the voice of Douglas Adams (think Hitchhikers's Guide to the Galaxy, people). She doesn't elaborate on it, and the end isn't believable. The Arby's joke was stolen from "The Simpsons".

Alright, that's all for now.

Sunday, February 19, 2006


My sister didn't tell you punks about LOTW. So here it is.

This week I chose something submitted a long time ago, by Leah.

Go ahead, indulge yourself.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Last Looks

So last night I watched a really bad movie. About this man and this woman and the woman was a flight attendant and then there were all these loooooong parts in the movie where the action just...stopped. like this. and then we were like OH MY GOD MY HEAD! because the movie was really bad. And it was so boring. Not unlike this last paragraph...

Anyway in case you were wondering yes Orlando Bloom was in it. Which for all of you girls out there explains alot. And yes Kirsten Dunst was in it. Which for all of you boys out there explains why Sam even sat down in the first place. Oh who am I kidding. We were all watching Orlando Bloom. (just kidding...)

So many of you are wondering why I was MIA for such a long time. And here's the thing. I was just thinking that you all wanted to hear from Sam, and not me. Because Sam's your age and all that and then you all could talk about eighth grade drama and think Sam is funny. And then I got less and less comments on my posts and as Sam and Carissa have pointed out- COMMENTS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR EGO! (while we're here- go post a few hundred comments on carissa's xanga which is really interesting and funny and she would love you forever because as we know everyone loves comments and must comment (preferably first) on other people's blogs and tell them to comment on yours) (so lets just take out the middle part and do it right here- GO COMMENT ON CARISSA'S BLOG!) and yes this is an ego thing. And even when your audience is your little brother's eighth grade class, it hurts when your brother gets more comments. Hurts bad, you know?

Seriously I'm just kidding. Of course I don't care about Sam getting more comments. But I really did think about the amount of comments I was getting and Sam was getting and how you maybe didn't want to hear from me anymore. And then when I was reading the comments on the posts last week and you were asking for me I was totally happy and thought I would maybe post again to see the comments...

And since comments are so exciting and I want so many I thought I would leave you with a question to answer in a comment. And since we're all thinking about Harry Potter (yeah I don't really know why) and other people here we go: Which Harry Potter character could Hilary Duff beat? Because I'm saying she could definately take Ron and maybe Harry who would just be like all "ooooh Hilary Duff let me invite her to my common room for some krumpets because she's totally hot" but I don't think Hermione would be fooled. So my money is on Hermione. But even though Hilary Duff is slightly obnoxious I don't think she would ever be able to do anything that the wizarding world would care about. So this question is really unrealistic.

But that's the only part of the question that is unrealistic. Because Harry Potter is totally real and all that.

So today I watched Friends.

And last night I had this dream about physics. Which is weird when you think about it because I don't really like physics class.

Well as fun as this is I'm going to go play some games on DosBox now until my mother comes down and realizes that I haven't practiced piano yet. (Frances it's ok you're probably not having a heart attack...) And then when she does I'll be ready with the pathetic list of things I've done today that will get me out of practicing. And hopefully by then my friend will be here so I won't have to worry about any of that...

Such is life

Au revoir mes amis!

4 things

Man, Maddie got 32 posts on this post. Damn! Let's try for like 40 or something.

Also, I figured out the case of the migrating sidebar. Turns out I forgot to close one of my tags (align left). Everything got pushed to the left, including the sidebar. It's natural tendency was to then move to the bottom of the page.

Yes, Jesse, Linux does rock. Thank you for pointing that out.

Well, I don't have a fourth thing. So...

That's that.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Childhood Nostalgia, Repreive

Alternate title: Childhood Nostalgia my ass!

Well, there it is. My new obsession. No longer does DOS compel me. For my true calling is Maximum PC's game of the year: Battlefield II. The game is truly gorgeous.

Basically you run around a battlefield as one of several units. They fall into like 3 or 4 classes: assault, anti-tank, engineer, and medics. You have to take command points.

It's nearly impossible to get online, and frustrating to play over the LAN, but I LOVE IT!

Alright, that's it. Quick Haiku, written in the 20 minutes between me finishing my book after the PSSA's and lunch...


"Wait", they say, "Patience".
For it is a virtue. But,
time is dragging on.

See if anything to address with comments...

Yeah, okay: Jesse, I was trying to run DOS. If I had run Linux, that wouldn't have accomplished what I needed, which was DOS. But thank you anyway. Heh heh.

LOTW (link of the week, Angie) tommorow. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Childhood Nostalgia

Recognise it? Probably not.

That, my friends is my childhood. Yes, I went around shooting crazy mushrooms with rayguns on world of ice and tacky backgrounds.

But seriously, though. That is a computer game I played on...


You remember it. MS-DOS. The basics. Text commands. Black screens, "computery" fonts. So this is the game I grew up on. "Keen" was its name. You controlled a little boy in a football helmet who saved the world.

I was actually playing the game this afternoon, using a program called "DOS-Box". It is an emulator, so basically I can run DOS while windows is running (oh, check sarpics for screenshots of DOS-Box and another screen shot of "Keen").

It's the basic side scroller. You are armed with a ray-gun (limited ammunition) and a pogo-stick (higher jumping, hard control), and face many an enemy. They are actually rare, most of the game involves boarding lifts and making your way through repetitive levels. But you know why it doesn't matter?

Because every time I play it, I go back to my youth (I'm talking 3s and 4s), playing the game. My sister and I would play it together, as we do now. It is so much fun. I mean, it's just so great.


So here's the deal. On The Guest Blog the next few days, comment on things that you remember from your childhood.

Check sarpics.

And LOTW. I've gotten none this week. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Aaaaaaaaaah! I finished my science journal but I'm still stressed.

I'm listening to loud, fast music. It's kind of stressing me out. Plus it's like 9:13 PM. That's late.

Anyway I had Hebrew School so I have no time to post so I'm double dipping. This is my short story for English. It's called "Reality", and is a chilling tale of blah blah blah.

Here it is...

Craig was never a bad man, really. He had grown up in Trenton, and went to ITT Tech in Dayton, Ohio. There, he met his wife, Jamie. They had settled in a townhouse, and had 2 children, Henry and Patrick. He was living a simple life, not passionate about it, indifferent really.

Craig had finished his job for the night, picked up some eggs, and headed home. He said hello to his sons, kissed his wife, announced that he was going to change his clothes, and walked up the stairs.

He walked into his bathroom and looked in the mirror. The face staring back at him was one he barely recognized. It was no longer the bright, happy face of a young man, working the job he loved. It was the face of a man who was defeated, working the job he loathed, day-in and day-out, to support a family. A family whose kids were growing up too fast, and whose wife barely spoke to her husband. The bags under his eyes were dark, as if someone had painted them that way. His hair was black, but no longer had its sheen.

A late fall storm thundered outside. It rained harder. Craig could hear his kids below him, talking to their mother. They were 8, but somehow, they were already at that stage where they ignored their dad.

Craig cried for a minute or two. His wife walked in.

“Jamie,” he cried, “It’s okay, I’ll be down in a second”. Before, she would hug him, comforting him, telling him it would be alright.

Those were old face times. Now, she would just look at him pityingly, almost angrily, and then leave.

The evening passed uneventfully from there, Craig ate his dinner of spaghetti, complementing his wife on it. She ignored him. He made Pat practice piano, and then headed upstairs. An hour later, he kissed his kids goodnight.
The fluorescent green clock from the microwave flashed 11:17. Craig was making his lunch, and his breakfast. His wife used to make it for him, cracking jokes as she saw her kids and husband off at the same time, talking about her “men”.

Not anymore. And he couldn’t figure out why.

Craig stuck the brown bags in the refrigerator, and moved to his room. He got in bed, staring at the ceiling, until sleep took him.

Craig awoke, and light streamed in the window. He sighed to himself, and then rolled out of bed. He dressed, and maneuvered down the stairs. His wife heard him.

“Morning honey” she greeted him. She wasn’t usually up this early.

“Hey, what smells so good?” he asked.

“Eggs,” she answered, gesturing to the boys, “I made them special for the kids and you.”

Craig looked at them. Eggs! Things could be looking up. Henry was kind or pushing his around his plate, while Pat had eaten his, but he wasn’t getting up. He was very still. He was just sitting there, and then…

Pat fell. He fell of his chair, hitting the floor with a thud. Craig was sprinting over to him, while his wife didn’t notice.

Craig saw that he was dead immediately. Pat was as white as chalk. The man had seen enough movies to know the boy had eaten something poisonous. He looked towards the eggs; they looked fine, though…

He turned towards his wife. Jamie was still making eggs.

“Honey,” he said, “Patrick’s dead.” It sounded stupid coming out of his mouth. He didn’t mean to say it as confirmation; he meant it as a question. He was wondering why she wasn’t answering him. She had just learned her son had died.

“Oh, I know,” she insisted.

“How?” Craig demanded.

“He ate your eggs.” Craig didn’t really get it. He didn’t get it until she turned towards him with the steaming hot frying pan. He got it when he threw through himself to the ground, hearing the pan whistle above him.

He grabbed the fearful Henry, propelling them both towards the door. The toaster flew past his head when his hand grabbed the knob, and as he turned it, he felt the hot pan hit the side of his face.

Jamie watched Craig fall. She noticed him landing an odd position, but then she figure out why. She went to grab Henry, but Craig got there first. He hit the door hard with his feet, and Henry didn’t need any advice as to what to do. He rushed out the kitchen door, down the hall, around the corner, and out the front door.

Jamie was angry. She raised the frying pan, hitting Craig’s head. She raised it one more time, and crashed it down.

Craig awoke. He was drenched in cold sweat, from something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. As he lay in bed, he noticed something familiar about the scene. He couldn’t figure out what. He dressed himself, and walked down the stairs, into the kitchen.

“Morning, honey” She was making eggs. And then he remembered. But it was just a dream. It couldn’t be… There was no way it could be… He looked over at Pat, for confirmation of what, somehow, he already knew to be true.

He wasn’t moving.

Anyway that's that. It's short because it could only be 3 pages and it had to be double spaced.

Feel free to rave! Heh heh. Kidding.

Oh and that guy Cheney shot had a heart attack...

Monday, February 13, 2006

Web Addresses Gone Wrong

Delay today, so I'm posting.

Surfing the web, I just decided to enter some random addresses into the address bar.

Here we go...
Well, that's all for now. And here's how devoted I am. I stumbled upon several porn sites to get this list. So appreciate it.

(and you don't have to make the joke about how I enjoyed it or something like that. You guys are funnier than that)

Sunday, February 12, 2006

VP Shoots Man, Flees

Ahahahahah! Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face with a shotgun! Yes!

Well, not for the guy who got shot (he's fine), but it's just hilarious. And he didn't really flee. I made that up. But he did shoot a guy while hunting. That's him being presented with the gun by the NRA. Yeah, guns are safe, right?

Oh, the article is here. Is it just me, or is Cheney really freaky looking? He scares me.

Anyway he shot a millionaire while hunting.

Aaaaaaah. Life is good. And will there be a delay tommorow? Let's hope (I doubt it).

Yeah, I removed the other picture because my mom didn't like it.

Some ramblings and a pitch pipe

Well, a got a pitch pipe. So now I can blow a pitch in the musical I'm in. More specifically, a "D".

Do you think that is how I should capitilize the title. Like, maybe I should make important words upper-case: Some Ramblings and a Pitch Pipe. That looks okay, I guess.

I could mention something about Maddie and Angie but for fear of retribution and me being wrong making me look stupid and conceited...

So I won't.

Well, I'm trying this "Skype" thing. See how that goes.

So soon I'll have some great posting material. But that's it. My rambling is limited at best. Jeff and Maeve are good at it.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

5:23 PM

The world outside is snowy.

The world inside is warm.

The actual world is messed up.

Thank you, thank you. Okay, first: congrats to Jeff. Honk was so funny. And to Maeve. Who doesn't read my blog. And who I didn't say hello to due to ridiculous inhibitors. Because it would've been "weird" in my mind.

Just because I couldn't have been like, "oh you must be Maeve". And then she would have shook my hand and said, "it's a pleasure to meet you". And I could have said, "likewise, i'm sure. And you did a great job". Then she might've said, "oh thanks" and then it would have been awkward.

See, I didn't really have to have the conversation. Oh, and Jeff: Is there a way I could be in a play like that. That would be fun.

So I'm still working on my readers. It's hard work to rave about people that are stupi- wonderful.

Alright, let's see if my comments leave anything for me to address...

Yeah, okay. I'm not jealous of Gianni (Gioni w/e), Maddie. You don't have to worry about that.

Jon and Abby are talking about Shipley.

...and Tim is dense fool. Ah well, that's the way it goes.

Oh, LOTW: no contest this week Sri's Link took the whole pot. Moderate use of the "F" word. Some swearing, so, you've been warned.

Friday, February 10, 2006

The Dance

First: This won't be done in my usual tone. I'm going for "poetic".

And here we go...

The Dance: A time to socialize. A time for the girls to dress up (I never remember how nice all the girls look at dances. I mean, they look nice normally but they really change when they aren't in school) and the guys to put on a collared shirt (not much of a change for me).

The Dance was, as it will always be, a mess of relationships. Human relationships (damn the caveman who thought of rubbing two sticks together!), of course. By far more advanced than other mammals.

Other animals, in fact.

It was a mess of the feelings that are buzzing through our brain, of indecisiveness, and of the age we are at.

Puberty is a kind of weird word to read, so I'm going to steer clear of it.

A mess of regret, and anger, and sadness, and...

Gioni is going out with Maddie?

A mess of annoying popular people making fun of Tim and me (yes, that's correct: Tim and me). A mess of rumors.

A mess of everything.

Not for me, of course. Well, yes. A mess for me, but I don't blog about that. But there is...

No. I cannot mention that here. It is hardly the proper forum. Hardly...

My dad's trying to trick me into watching "The Mummy". Psh. Yeah right.

But of course, jokes were made. All of them. The bad ones, the good ones, the innapropriate ones, the ones with swearing.

All of them.

And for one night. Just one night, we...

All of us. All of the friends I have. And some that hate me. And some that hate me because I'm ugly but don't actually know me (yeah). And some that give me funny looks because they don't understand my jokes, or heard them in skewed context. All of us.


We glimpsed the future. Beneath all of our nerdiness, and all of the drama. We saw ourselves bigger. And we saw the end game. And we had regrets.

We can't all be as lucky as Jeff and Maeve were. They were so lucky. It's perfect. Well this is a good train of thought but it's hard to add. So just pretend this paragraph didn't happen.

But did our ways change?

Of course not. But I gained something, as I have from every dance:

My life is not a soap opera. It never was. It never will be. No one has a life like a soap opera, except for the people on soap opera's.

No drama for me tonight. Not much, anyway.

Thank god.

Well, that was my attempt at being poetic. Thank you.

Oh, other dance lessons learned:

You only live once.
Dignity is what you give yourself.
An entrepeneur is never succesful.
Don't try to slow-dance with boys.

Well, some things are funny.

On Various Things 2

I think this is the second time I chose that title.

My electives (I'm not conceited enough to post my classes) are intermediate TV, and that's it so far (I'll have more, but I didn't know I would have so many free periods).

Oh, yeah. I didn't get jazz band. Damn that! But congrats to Tim, who did get jazz band (read: I hate your guts now).

Oh, and my sister had this inflatable globe in her locker from the "anti defamation league", and it spelled Berlin "Bertin", and Naples "Napies". It was great!

Well, I'm doing this thing where I write Haiku's at random (it's another way for me to brag about how smart I am. Oh, did I mention that? I'm really smart. Like ridiculously smart. It's incredible how smart I am). So here are a couple of my Haikus:

Writing Haikus is
hard. I mean, the 5-7-5
thing. I'm good at it. (kidding, really. I'm not conceited)

No, but I'm kidding.
They are hard, though. And very
fun. You should try it.

Am I writing poems
about poems? Why, yes! I am!
It's kind of pointless.


Man! School really sucks.
I hate it's slimy, rotten
guts. And the homework.

Well, they're not too good.

Make sure you read the next post. I'm updating that.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My Readers

Yeah... I changed it. "Fans" sounded to weird. This is basically a post about the people who read my blog.

Jon- What is there to say about Jon? Well, let's put it this way: What isn't there to say about Jon. He's hilarious, for one. He makes the best jokes ever. And teaches us cool card games (Hand and Foot! You need six decks). We teach him some too, (Euchre, about half of a deck. Demon, one deck per person. I'll think of more later.) and we play them all the time. He's a DDR wizard, and comes to Delaware with us, too. He writes good, albeit long and depressing, poems. He also won the first LOTW award, and has been one of my most loyal fans; he's commented from the beginning. We've been friends for the longest of any of you hacks, so, yeah: That's Jon.

Tim- Psh. Tim. Well, anyway, Tim is the king of the nerds. I am his loyal subject, though recently I have been skirting my duties of doing nothing. So Tim is nerdy, he has a calculator watch. And his hair is weird. It doesn't move. Ever. I'm not even kidding. It's freakish. Well, I just wasted about a line on Tim's hair. Recently, Tim has been the butt of some more nasty (true? Well, that's up to you) rumors. Why can't I think to write things about Tim. He's the most interesting person I know (besides me). He's not eccentric, so much as crazy. Childlike in his manner. His jokes leave much to be desired. That must be why he steals Jeff's and mine. Ooh: Burn. He "oh snap"s on occasion, and I've seen him dressed in a chicken suit. He's a powerpoint whiz, and my good friend.

Jen- Ah. Jen. Well, she thinks I'm a moron (don't worry, I won't post it on the web) apparently. But she's read my blog a lot, especially recently. Oh, this is a great opportunity to mention The Guest Blog. It's a forum for pathetic mortals who don't have a blog and want people to read their musings. Jen and I started it up, so now you can post (I'm sending all people on my email list passwords. To log in, go to blogger.com and sign in. Then click the "New Post" (or something like that) and you're blogging. If you need more help, see this post. But back to Jen. She's smart (at least as smart enough to hang out with our friends. I know that sounds very Cliqueish, but it's true: Stupid people don't thrive in our group). She's a really good artist, and does really good HTML. Apparently she likes DDR, and has (she doesn't know it) become friends with Abby. You two have agreed so many times. It's funny. She's a loyal reader, but doesn't blog much anymore.

Carissa- I just posted that one above this. So I'm just glad I don't have to syllables (if you're reading this from the link on the sidebar, it's this post). Anyway, she's like ridiculously smart (she's in Algebra 2. In eighth grade!), and she's really modest about it (see, it doesn't count because you're not saying it! She was afraid to ask the high school guy a question about it because she was afraid people would think she was bragging) And she has a cool Xanga, too. It's on the sidebar. She's also one of the people I'm nervous making jokes around (also Emma. She never laughs!) because she's smarter than me and really quiet and modest so I feel like she's judging me (even though I know she's not. Or is she? Hmm...). And like, she laughs, too (unlike Emma. Did I mention this?) but for some reason I still think it's weird. See, there's a lot more to making people laugh in school than you'd think. Anyway, she's also very tall (taller than me anyway. Not that that's like a feat or anything). And she plays clarinet (I think. Hey, do people in band think Gabe and I are obnoxious? Do we even make jokes anymore? I forget...), and she's good at it, too. I think...

Crud, I thought Carissa's would be too short. So I made it long. But most of it was about me anyway.

Let's see, next is...

Jeff S.- Oh man! Jeff is tall, too. And a great actor. And he plays piano well, too. And he and his girlfriend (you can say that in a sing-song voice if you wish)have a blog. Oh, yeah: I need to add that to the sidebar. Hold on. Okay, I'm done. So let's see. Jeff is really funny (and smart. If you don't get it read Jen's paragraph). Oh, here's his description of himself:

Jeff, Co-Lord of Randomness in the land of Randomossity (Along with Maeve), King of Insanity, Sitting, and Geeks, Destroyer of Conformity, Banisher of Boringness, 1/3 of the Acting Trio, Undisputed Master of Movies, Both Musical and Classic, Keeper of the Word "Meep"(Also Along with Maeve), Part-Time Keeper of the Words "Zip, zap, zop!"(Again with Maeve), Almighty Emperor of Electronics, Captain of Drinking Air (subordinate only to Humphry Bogart), Puppetmaster of Fs, Puppetmaster-in-training of Gs, The Dark Lord Ishi-Ishi, Deep Thought II, Science Geek Extraordinaire, Honest Follower of What May or May Not Be the Directions, El Brujo Caballero de la Mesa Rodonda, Maestro of Japanese Number Puzzles, Especially in the Wee Hours, Punmaster Pro Tempore of Randomosity, Founder of Endless Conversation(With...yup, you guessed it: Maeve), Wielder of Lactose-based Excuses.

I guess that about somes it up, ya' know. He's a really good friend of mine! Not that you other people aren't, but this paragraph needed some meat.

Madeline- Hmm... She's insane, I guess. And a good speller. And what else? Smart. And gets really good grades. And tall. And her Dad has this huge house that was like a post office or something. It's really big. Not like a mansion, but it has a big yard and stuff. He's a chemist. She likes this game which involves sitting on Dain's lap. And she plays bass (that's like "base", Tim. Not the fish) bells. And sings like ridiculously high. Can you start sentences with "and"? You know who would know? Maddie! She also is constantly changing my background to "I heart Maddie". And she's going out with Gianni.

Sri Charan- Well, he's a good speller, too. And his name is a substitute's worst nightmare (pronounced "Shri Charan". The A's are like eah in yeah). He's smart. Well, pretty much all of my friends are smart. And he got me hooked on GMail. And he abandoned his blog, and then adopted it lovelessly to try to get off the "Abandoned Blog" list. If he keeps posting, he just might. But for now, it will take a while for him to regain my trust. Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Heh heh heh.

Well, that's enough of the "heh heh"'s, so on to the next person, who is...

Frances- Well, her main characteristic is her ridiculously fast speed at talking (if you were on drugs you wouldn't talk as fast as her. Really). She's short, and plays really good piano. She likes practicing piano. That scares me, you know! Anyway she's completely insane. She made song fest. Unlike me! Ah, well. Apparently some people call her "Francy". Is that weird? Maybe it's just me. And she's hyper. Really hyper. She's "bouncy". And she plays like 40 instruments. She's also friends with Christie and Emily. They're like a trio, I guess. And like all of her friends hate me. But that's okay because they should. I'm kind of a terrible person, I guess. Well, that's it on Frances.

Abby- She's my friend from Hebrew School. She can sing really well, and is friends with Becky. Also from my Hebrew School. She's been to all the Bnei Mitzfahs with me (so much bad buffet food, so little time). We don't see eachother much really anymore. That's sad (I'd do a frowny face but mine always look like crap). She has a good blog (check the sidebar). She has brown hair, and a pool with a really old diving board and no heater. It is so cold! And she likes the Red Sox. I'm a Yankees fan, myself. Well, not really. But I'm from New York. And she likes cats. Like me. And she has an older brother. And remember the Keswick? Where we saw those weird plays? Abby and I went there to see Dar Williams perform. I was so tired that night. Oh, good times.

Angie- Angie is hilarious. But she never posts on her blog. Ever. So that's bad but she's nice. She joined our group this year with Maddie (that is, they eat lunch with us) but they are still friends with Melissa and Taylor and all. She's got really long flowy hair that's brown. And she doesn't have glasses. She likes giving out hugs a lot. Like she hugs everyone every day. That's kind of weird. Well, Angie is pretty weird, I guess. Earlier this year our group was suffering from blows from both inside and out, and Angie held strong during that time. Unlike me. She gave out so many hugs. So Angie is pretty cool.

Leah- Well, Leah is also a Hebrew School friend. She goes to the other middle school but will meet up with us at high school. She was the first to win LOTW twice. Umm... let's see... She is like a Sims 2 wizard, and very smart as well. I haven't seen her in a while so I don't know that much about her. I'll just throw in some j's to fatten this up:


There, that's good.

Hong- Hong is a Google Hater. She hates google. She's also in Geometry with me and Sri and some other people. She comments here on occasion, and also has a Xanga I don't read. So that's why it's not on the side bar. But she did have this hilarious video: ipod flea! Well, you get it. Anyway she's pretty smart. And she's in chorus, singers, and orchestra. And she's friends with Carissa. I'd like to mention that the ipod flea is using Google Video. GOOGLE RULES, HONG! GET OVER IT!

Who's next?

No one? I'm done? Really? Wait. One more...

The Anonymous Commenter- No name, no face. Only absurdity. This commenter is the voice of opposition, insulting my blog, or saying random things. Everyone has done it once in a while. But there are some regular anonymous people. How many are enemies of the blog? How many are friends? How many are the bloggers themselves? We may never know.


Ali- She's been bugging me about how she wanted to be a "reader". Okay. Ali is a girl at my school. Once, a sub called me Henry. So she likes making fun of me for that. Even though it's really not something you can make fun of me for. It's not like I did anything. But whatever. She likes making fun of me in general. She's friends with Frances and stuff. She's pretty smart at English. And she's in my science class. And she comes to talk with Christie sometimes so I see her and now we're friends. Happy? Huh? Okay?

If I missed you, email me. If you don't know my email address, look on the sidebar. If you don't know where the sidebar is, you're stupid.

Monday, February 06, 2006

You opened your umbrella...

And we walked, between the raindrops, back to your door.

Ah, what a great album! Donald Fagen, "The Nightfly". It's really a classic. For me, anyways.

As always, I'm busy Mondays, so I don't have a whole lot of "blog time", however I do have a poem I wrote! It's not dark like Jon's (who never comments anymore. Ah well, I guess he's a little old for that), It's kind of funny. In a wierd way...

"Scale Factor"

Things are small.
Not really small.
But small none-the-less.

And people make them bigger.
Not all people.
But people none-the-less.

And when people
(not all people)
Make things bigger than they are.

Then life gets...

Not a lot harder.
But harder none-the-less.

And it's not that hard to stop making things...


It's really not.

But people do it anyways.

Life is hard enough as it is,

And when you think like an eighth grader,

Not all things
But most things

Are bigger than they really are. Harder than they really are.

So stop.

Stop making things bigger.

Life is short.
Not that short,
But short none-the less.

Huh? Huh? Yeah.

Well, last feature. This week is thanking my wonderful fans here at 4YA. So anyone who comments their name on THIS, and only this, post, gets a paragraph written about them, and their relation to me (nothing dangerous or personal). Yes, I did steal this from Serena.

Oh, last note: That girl Becky, from "CrushedByACrush" Xanga, is sad. Justin dumped her. So go say a nice word, will you? Then she'll be touched but creeped out. On the comment board, or maybe even the little "chat room" on the side if you don't have a xanga. Here's the link.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Run and Hide

Alternate title: 4 lies about the social structure of middle school.

Tim's, although being the funniest so far, also has the most lies. Also, Tim, way to insult me! Do you have a blog: No! My blog gets readers!

Ahhhh... It's good to have a blog. Tim's just jealous.

But our middle-school really doesn't have a social structure like this one. However, it is the first to make me laugh out loud: Congrats Tim.

Captain’s Log, Stardate…

Hello. It is I, Tim(bo). As you already guessed, I get to post here because I won the Link of the Week contest. And it’s pretty exciting. This entry is giving me my own little voice on the internet. I can say whatever I want! However, it’s not like that many people will really read this. (Sorry Sam, as great as you think this little blog is; only about ten or fifteen people read it regularly. It’s actually pretty small, all things considered, Sorry.) So yeah, I now have my own little voice on the internet! Now the thing is what do I say?

Well, as most of you know, I am the self-proclaimed King of the Nerds. Proud of it, too. What a lot of you probably don’t know is why. Well, quite frankly, I enjoy it. There are lots of upshots to being a nerd. And that statement implies you’re going to hear what they are. And there are a lot of them, so fasten your seatbelts, people, because it’s going to be a wild ride.

Despite what you might think, there are actually many a lot of them. First of all, nerds can define their own social expectations. For example, if a cool person says that something is cool, a normal person would have to do it if they wanted to fit in, even if they did not necessarily enjoy the activity in question. With a nerd, it’s a different story. Since nerds are inherently “un-cool,” they don’t have to conform to what people think is cool. Here’s an example for a normal person and a nerd:

COOL PERSON: Hey, do you know what’s cool? Rap music!
NORMAL PERSON: Rap… but I hate rap…
COOL PERSON: But don’t you want to be cool?
NORMAL PERSON: *Sigh.* Oh, fine.

Whereas with a nerd…

COOL PERSON: Hey, do you know what’s cool? Rap music!
NERD: I strongly dislike rap.
COOL PERSON: But that’s what’s cool.
NERD: But I’m a nerd. I’m not cool, so it doesn’t really matter.
COOL PERSON: Whatever.

Another perk to being a nerd is the fact that is very hard to pick on one. People insult other people to make them angry. But if the person being insult isn’t bothered by the insult, or, better yet, openly admits they are whatever they’re being called, the insult’s effect is nullified. More examples:

PERSON: Hey, you’re really ugly!
OTHER PERSON: I’m not! Take it back!
PERSON: Ha, ha, ha!

However, a nerd can deflect this insult, as shown:

PERSON: Hey, you’re really ugly!
NERD: Yeah, how about that? I’m a nerd. Nerds are ugly. Deal with it.
PERSON: What? Huh?
NERD: I said “I’m a nerd. Nerds are ugly. Deal with it."
(At this point the insulter will have no idea what to do, so the nerd has basically won.)

This method, when combined with a sharp wit (which most nerds are born with), can be used to not only deflect insults, but to actually turn them back at the person who tried to use them on you, as shown below:

PERSON: Hey, you’re really ugly!
NERD: I’m a nerd. What’s your excuse?

So, as you can see, it is nearly impossible to insult a skilled nerd. However, there are many other upshots to being a nerd. For example, nerds get all the cool toys. Classic example: calculator watches. They’re wonderful little gizmos; mine has a calculator, telephone number directory, five alarms, and a stopwatch. And it tells time to boot. How many cool people do you know with calculator watches? Probably none.

And here’s another obvious example of nerd supremacy: Nerds are incredibly intelligent, and have awesome skills. Some nerds can hack. Some understand string theory. Some can read books in an instant. Some are extraordinarily skilled with musical instruments. Some can set up an entire home theater in their sleep. Some can spell every word in the dictionary. The point is, nerds are smart, and have skills. Skills that are needed in this society, but few people have.

And the ultimate example of why nerds rule: Nerds end up ruling/owning the world. Look at Bill Gates. In high school, bullies called him a nerd. And now, he practically owns he world, and the people who picked on him clean his bathrooms.

So yes, Being a nerd rocks, and now you know the reasons why. But what about the cons of being a nerd? There aren’t many cons to being a nerd, really, which is another reason why being a nerd rocks. There’s only one con, really: The social factor. If you can’t accept being a social outcast for all eternity, being a nerd is not your style. You can also kiss your chances of getting a girlfriend/boyfriend goodbye. But other than that, there are no real cons to being a nerd.

So that’s it! Why being a nerd is good, and why you should become one. And this is probably too long already, so I’d better stop. Bye, thanks for reading, and hope I get to post again soon! And live long and prosper!

I never said, well, really anything.

How to use Google so I don't hate your guts

We've all seen it. Go to google.com, type in your query, and you're ready to roll.

But there's more. To find it, Charlie Brown, you really have to delve! Well, actually it's incredibly simple, especially with this handy-dandy (not notebook) post!

So let's get started! Google's first (and most obvious) use is it's ability to dig up incredible amounts of information in a short amount of time. So I won't go into detail. But here's something you didn't know (make sure you check SaRpics for screenshots) : Google can define words. If you type in "Define:" and then a word immediately after (no spaces), it defines it.

But that's not all. If want to convert almost any unit to another, just type it in. If I want to know how many minutes old I am, I simply type "13 years to minutes" (6,837,333.96). Just type a value, a unit, "to", and then another unit. Your gold, man!

What else, what else! Languages! Google can translate sentences, or entire pages! Just click here, and you're there. Spanish homework is easy; I don't have to bring home my book.

Gmail, of course, another of the many useful tools google provides, is a mail client, taking no downloads, and no space. It is incredibly easy to use, and is easy to check anywhere (except for school. Damn you, internet blocker). If you have this, you can also download Google's IM client, Google Talk. Many of my friends have already found the wonder that is Google Talk.

Froogle is a useful price-comparison guide, finding anything you want on the web (yes, I searched "Guns". And I found some, Damnit!).

Google Local is another useful tool, finding anything in a certain location, as well as providing a phone number, website, and directions to or from it.

Anyone who ever made a PowerPoint presentation on anything knows the value of Google Images. I won't go into details on this. You get it.

Picasa, a Google photo editor, is invaluble for cropping and posting pictures on blogger; I couldn't have done it without Picasa.

Well, that's about it for now. Today, I was just scratching the surface of Google's vast array of blah blah blah.

On a last note: Jen, keep posting comments and such; they amuse us. And let me know that you're still visiting. I'll be sad if you don't. *Sniff*, yeah, no: I suck at it.

Make sure you check out SaRpics for screenshots (see above or the sidebar). Posted by Picasa

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Winner of LOTW

Yes, once again, I'm crowning a winner.

I liked Jesse's, but ultimately, Tim won with this website.

Okay, well, that's it. GMail me! I'm bored!

Friday, February 03, 2006


Ah! I have to write a poem. 2 poems, in fact.

I'm going to the poetry slam at the library (you guys should come), and I need some poems.

I'm using "The Narrative Poem", possibly Ode to Blogs. I haven't decided.

Argh! My impromptu boycott of Maddie and Angie's blog worked, though.

But I fell kind of bad.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

A Secret Message

I blog here now, hoping that someone will find it, and save me. A proverbial note in a bottle...

My mother lurks outside, it is 8:30. Any second now, she will whisk me upstairs. Sri is GTalking to me. I must ignore him. I must finish this message.

My mom is approaching. Her voice is coming nearer.

She repeats my name, I ignore her.

"Hold on, mom" I call.

I type the important message: Angie, I'm sorry for the way I acted in school. You shouldn't post gossip, but really I just wanted to be mad at someone. Tim was upset.

My mom's voice grows sterner. She gets off the couch and moves towards the door to my study

Frances is saying "hi" on GTalk. I want to respond... Frances, it is too late. She calls at me!

It is too late...

My mother is upon me.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Sneak Peek

Well, my entry on google is taking a lot more work than I expected. It's just so, damn(ed?) useful.

Today? Oh, it was horrible.

VF Singers
Assembly (motivating us to kill ourselves, or possibly just select courses at the high school)
I lose my LitMag application. I miss my bus trying to find it, and practically break down and cry.
Get on the shuttle bus.
Get on my elementary school bus.
Go home.
Driver misses my stop.
I yell, "Stop!"
She does, and after some convincing (read: threatening), she lets me get off
Walk home (she missed my stop by quite a bit)
Get hit by truck.
Wait, that didn't happen, but it would have been funny. For you. Oh, laugh at my pain, will you? I'll teach you!

Okay, still working on that Google thing (think plenty of screen shots). Also almost done my poetry book.

Please, for my sake, don't read Maddie or Angie's blog until I give the okay. Yes, I'm censoring you. You can't gossip about my friends and then I ignore you.

Well, let's see if my blog is powerful enough to stop the rumors.

Really, don't. Otherwise, they'll never learn.