Sunday, February 05, 2006

Run and Hide

Alternate title: 4 lies about the social structure of middle school.

Tim's, although being the funniest so far, also has the most lies. Also, Tim, way to insult me! Do you have a blog: No! My blog gets readers!

Ahhhh... It's good to have a blog. Tim's just jealous.

But our middle-school really doesn't have a social structure like this one. However, it is the first to make me laugh out loud: Congrats Tim.

Captain’s Log, Stardate…

Hello. It is I, Tim(bo). As you already guessed, I get to post here because I won the Link of the Week contest. And it’s pretty exciting. This entry is giving me my own little voice on the internet. I can say whatever I want! However, it’s not like that many people will really read this. (Sorry Sam, as great as you think this little blog is; only about ten or fifteen people read it regularly. It’s actually pretty small, all things considered, Sorry.) So yeah, I now have my own little voice on the internet! Now the thing is what do I say?

Well, as most of you know, I am the self-proclaimed King of the Nerds. Proud of it, too. What a lot of you probably don’t know is why. Well, quite frankly, I enjoy it. There are lots of upshots to being a nerd. And that statement implies you’re going to hear what they are. And there are a lot of them, so fasten your seatbelts, people, because it’s going to be a wild ride.

Despite what you might think, there are actually many a lot of them. First of all, nerds can define their own social expectations. For example, if a cool person says that something is cool, a normal person would have to do it if they wanted to fit in, even if they did not necessarily enjoy the activity in question. With a nerd, it’s a different story. Since nerds are inherently “un-cool,” they don’t have to conform to what people think is cool. Here’s an example for a normal person and a nerd:

COOL PERSON: Hey, do you know what’s cool? Rap music!
NORMAL PERSON: Rap… but I hate rap…
COOL PERSON: But don’t you want to be cool?
NORMAL PERSON: *Sigh.* Oh, fine.

Whereas with a nerd…

COOL PERSON: Hey, do you know what’s cool? Rap music!
NERD: I strongly dislike rap.
COOL PERSON: But that’s what’s cool.
NERD: But I’m a nerd. I’m not cool, so it doesn’t really matter.
COOL PERSON: Whatever.

Another perk to being a nerd is the fact that is very hard to pick on one. People insult other people to make them angry. But if the person being insult isn’t bothered by the insult, or, better yet, openly admits they are whatever they’re being called, the insult’s effect is nullified. More examples:

PERSON: Hey, you’re really ugly!
OTHER PERSON: I’m not! Take it back!
PERSON: Ha, ha, ha!

However, a nerd can deflect this insult, as shown:

PERSON: Hey, you’re really ugly!
NERD: Yeah, how about that? I’m a nerd. Nerds are ugly. Deal with it.
PERSON: What? Huh?
NERD: I said “I’m a nerd. Nerds are ugly. Deal with it."
(At this point the insulter will have no idea what to do, so the nerd has basically won.)

This method, when combined with a sharp wit (which most nerds are born with), can be used to not only deflect insults, but to actually turn them back at the person who tried to use them on you, as shown below:

PERSON: Hey, you’re really ugly!
NERD: I’m a nerd. What’s your excuse?

So, as you can see, it is nearly impossible to insult a skilled nerd. However, there are many other upshots to being a nerd. For example, nerds get all the cool toys. Classic example: calculator watches. They’re wonderful little gizmos; mine has a calculator, telephone number directory, five alarms, and a stopwatch. And it tells time to boot. How many cool people do you know with calculator watches? Probably none.

And here’s another obvious example of nerd supremacy: Nerds are incredibly intelligent, and have awesome skills. Some nerds can hack. Some understand string theory. Some can read books in an instant. Some are extraordinarily skilled with musical instruments. Some can set up an entire home theater in their sleep. Some can spell every word in the dictionary. The point is, nerds are smart, and have skills. Skills that are needed in this society, but few people have.

And the ultimate example of why nerds rule: Nerds end up ruling/owning the world. Look at Bill Gates. In high school, bullies called him a nerd. And now, he practically owns he world, and the people who picked on him clean his bathrooms.

So yes, Being a nerd rocks, and now you know the reasons why. But what about the cons of being a nerd? There aren’t many cons to being a nerd, really, which is another reason why being a nerd rocks. There’s only one con, really: The social factor. If you can’t accept being a social outcast for all eternity, being a nerd is not your style. You can also kiss your chances of getting a girlfriend/boyfriend goodbye. But other than that, there are no real cons to being a nerd.

So that’s it! Why being a nerd is good, and why you should become one. And this is probably too long already, so I’d better stop. Bye, thanks for reading, and hope I get to post again soon! And live long and prosper!

I never said, well, really anything.

28 comments:

angie said...

tim, eveyone already knew that! and hey everyone- we need to find a new picnic spot. anyone have any ideas?

nerdjedi said...

Sam...
1) What do you mean lies? That's true stuff!
2) Way to forget to include my title!
3) Well... that's actually all i have, so never mind.

nerdjedi said...

And Sam, didn't mean to insult you. What I mean is the the President doesn't look at your blog, or stuff like that. What I mean is, you're only reaching your friends, not many people else.

Abby said...

okay, tim? when you're someone like me and you have about 3 people looking at your blog (and not regularly, either), sam's blog may as well be read by the president... not that i think that'd be such a good thing, concidering who our president is.

Everybody Dance Now said...

>:0 ...

Leah said...

I'd be amazed if the President read anyone's blog. I'd think he'd be too busy monitering our phone calls. Actually, I'd be amazed if he read.

Carissa said...

ok..... our president is COOL. Disscussion closed.

Also...... Tim, since you seem to be an expert at this, what is the difference between a nerd and a geek. Also, would i fall under either of those categories?

Finally, i know a cool person with a calculator watch. See..... i was sitting next to someone in the library during activity while they were doing their math hw (i think it was catherine but not sure) and they needed a calculator. My TI 84 + silver edition (YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY) was all the way over in one of those nifty (isn't hat a cool word) cubby holes. Then a cool person (i forget who but they obviously were cool as i was surprised at the fact they were talking to me) lent the person doing their math hw who i was helping since it was geometry (more proof it could be catherine) their calculator watch. the end.

This has been an excessively long comment to prove absolutely nothing. thank you.

btw, who was that vince person?

Jeff said...

Uh, Tim? Most of your 'facts' were blatant lies or truths that are only held true by you. I can actually tell you the difference between a nerd and a geek. Nerds can't be good at sports. It's a universal law. Geeks, on the other hand, can be good at sports, whether they like it or not is up to them. For example, I was kicked out of the nerd group because I got a national fitness award, so now I'm a geek. Then I was reaccepted as a nerd, and I'm a neek. Thirdly, and finally, nerds can get boyfriends/girlfriends! I resent that. That's all.

nerdjedi said...

No one has told me what I lied about yet...

I am strange, random, and smart! said...

Actually, I agree with Mr. Jeff because, the world would be a better place to live in if geeks were nerds and nerds were geeks. Or, to clarify my point, why not just have one category? Like, say, cool and "uncool"? Then, geeks and nerds and the children who will never go anywhere in life can rise up against the small group of elite cool people, and raise an army to overthrow the cruel system that our forebears have established? And then, we'll all grow up, and take over the world!! And then, it won't be U.S.A., and Russia, and England, and Pakistan, and China, and Japan, and all those little countries. It'll be one BIG country named Earth!!! Like Coruscant, only a country instead of a city. But is Coruscant a country and a city? Or is it just a city in a "galactic" city? Or is it...
Maybe I should just shut up now.

Jesse said...

Um, well, those cons, I think, are pretty big ones. Also, I'm a nerd, and I don't have a sharp wit. You lied there..... oh, but I do have skills. But the lack of social life is so very, very true. oh, how many Star Trek books do you own? I own 20. :)

Admin said...

YAY FOR NERD POWER!!! xD

Tim, you're wrong about the girlfriend/ boyfriend thing... *points to Jeff's comment*

~Jen ((I'm using this now so that no one can impersonate me =] *pokes Maddie's blog* ))

uhnonimes said...

Our president sucks, but that's mainly because out country sucks, and that's because the human species is stupid. I say that TIm was only partly right, so he told a half truth which is basically a lie according to the sayings we clapped last year in Mrs. Sprisslers's class. There isn't a distinct category for nerds and geeks. For example, I'm part of both but mainly in my own category...hehe, but since no one knows who this is anyways, the example doesn't work too well...

nerdjedi said...

When did I say there was a difference between nerds and geeks?

Abby said...

i agree w/ tim: nerds/geeks are perfectly capable of having boyfriends/girlfriends.

as far as overthrowing cool kids, why is it assumed that cool kids are mean? I myself am not popular, but I'm friends with a lot of cool people, and they arent cool because they're snooty; they're cool because they're really nice, so they just become best friends with practically everybody.

Abby said...

whups, messed up: i meant to say i agreed with jeff. sorry bout that

CLAIRE said...

i ♥ nerds. i am one auctally. are you single? email me sometime. my name is claire and i'm 14.

my email is spanishBaBeY@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

who else thinks this "claire" is maddie?

Anonymous said...

you know, most people who hate our president are giving in to the media which, in a nutshell, tells us bush is horrible. By giving into the media you are conforming to what is "cool". think for yourself and don't believe everything you here on TV, from either side of the spectrum, cuz most of it won't be true.

When you do believe everything they tell you, you start to hate bush. than you, as tim explained about normal people liking rap, just hate him because it's cool and you can make funny jokes. I respect anyone on either sides as long as they hink for themselves and don't take everything they learned from television.

Jeff said...

Actually, I just disagree with just about everything he supports(Examples: Abortion, gay marraige, intelligent design, etc.) so therefore I am not conforming because I came to this opinion on my own. Ha!

Anonymous said...

AAAGGGHHH!!! KEEP YOUR PAWS AWAY, YOU "CLAIRE" PERSON!!!!!!! TIM IS NOT UP FOR GRABS!!!!

Anonymous said...

i respect that and agree with you jeff, i'm more of a democtatey-rebuplican. I agree with the war and what he has done with Irag and terrorists, but issues like abortion for example, I am TOTALLY PRO-CHOICE.

nerdjedi said...

You on earth is that Claire person, and who's the person who wants her to "keep her paws away?"

nerdjedi said...

Sorry. "You" should be "who" in that last comment.

angie said...

i bet anynomous was sam. he just LOVES TIM SO MUCH, he just can't let go.

Abby said...

"you know, most people who hate our president are giving in to the media which, in a nutshell, tells us bush is horrible. By giving into the media you are conforming to what is "cool"."

EXCUSE ME???? i'm insulted by that!!! I don't like bush because i'm anti-war (especially wars based on lies) and because I disagree with his disissions and views, not because i'm ignorant or weak-minded, and I don't apriciate being judged like that.

Rennib Llebpamc Yerffej said...

do do doo doo di doo doo. Tim i agree. Nerds are smart and are good at instruments. But i am smart and I play the Tenor sax realy well. i am not a nerd. i just hang with them because they are the nice ones. and they are fun to hang around with, and they will rule the world. But i don't agree with all nerds being ugly. That could bring self esteem down. Hey sam i read your blog. fun fun fun. i liked the Llama song. who is this claire person. i find it funny that either someone is making a joke, or there is realy someone named Claire, tim, i would atually try to send a test email.

Whatever
Jeff2

Anonymous said...

AH!!! DON'T TAKE JEFF'S ADVICE!!! NO E-MAILING THAT CLAIRE PERSON!