Monday, February 20, 2006

The Importance of Being Ernest

Ah well. Here is Leah's post. She wants me to use her title. And for sure am I gonna critique it, like she critiqued my story. Hmph (is that spelled with a "u"? Could that possibly be an "u". Damn, the first time I actually start rambling I have to post that now.

No! I copied the link after the story, so now I have to go to gmail.

Alright, here it is...

It is important to be Ernest. Someone must always be Ernest at all times. If there are no Ernests in the world, then the evil Club of Mongoose (Known as COM) will take over the world. Then, they will poke Mankind for eternity with very sharp pointy sticks and force them to type on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years and write the collective work of George Lucas. Babies will be thrown in blenders along with bananas and just a hint of mint. Old people will have to watch hip-hop videos without complaining and talking of how music in their time was so much better. Fake cowboy former party-boys will be given inordinate amounts of power. COM was founded in 9 B.C., back when Jesus was still Jesusette and Romans had yet to gain mysterious British accents. To protect us from this threat, the Founding Fathers (George Washington, Nero and Colonel Sanders) decided to gather all the Ernests of the world and train them in the mystic ways of the Martial Arts. They call themselves Team EFF (Ernests of the Founding Fathers), and meet every other Sunday at Baskin Robbins. In winter, they meet at Arby’s, but few attend these meetings. The motto of Team EFF is Mongoose, We Don’t Want to be with You in the Day Time (In the Day, or in the Night). Sadly, these days the amount of Ernests is declining because it is a stupid name. Parents must name their children Ernest, or the entire human race is doomed! Gesundeit.

Well, first I have to do my "I didn't say..." thing.

I didn't say it would be more than one paragraph.

Now my critiquing: Well, certainly a rather pathetic attempt to capture the voice of Douglas Adams (think Hitchhikers's Guide to the Galaxy, people). She doesn't elaborate on it, and the end isn't believable. The Arby's joke was stolen from "The Simpsons".

Alright, that's all for now.

19 comments:

Jen said...

haha. That was funny and weird. (in a weird sort of way)

You surely haven't changed since hillside! ^-^

Jesse said...

I assume "Fake cowboy former party-boys will be given inordinate amounts of power." is exactly who I think it is. Mr. Bush?

Jeff said...

Interesting story. The Importance of Being Ernest is a show, but I think you knew that. After all, it would've been too much of a coincidence to randomly choose "Ernest" and then add the words "The Importance of Being" in front of it. Okay, I'm done semi-rambling for now. Meep!

Carissa said...

That was totally.... random.. but i guess that is the point... AND STOP INSULTING BUSH!!!!

To Sam: My church is AMAZING! Not BORING!!

Leah said...

Glad people like this one better than my last (of course that one really stunk). And Sam, I was not mimicking Douglas Adams, I was mimicking the style of some of the posters at Uncyclopedia.com, because I've been visiting there way too much. Actually Jeff, I was parodying the title of the play "The Importance of Being Earnest".

Anonymous said...

Taco.

Dain said...

that was oddly funny, and very confusing, but I did get a few laughs out of it.







underestimating.blogspot.com

umm...nohbdy? said...

bush=stupid, but i think everyone should remember that he WAS voted to become president (but that was only because all of the candidates were stupid...)

Jen said...

o_O;; Taco????? what for???

Anonymous said...

hey sam, here's an idea: you should ask everyone to post up the most unique way to take over the world that they can think of

Abby said...

all stupid? I deffinately don't think so!

but in any case, all annoying, to some degree yes, but all EVIL? by comparision, no.

and it wasn't exactly a landslide win, either.

and carissa, its cool if you like bush, I have no problem with that. But Leah, myself and others are likewise allowd to not like him... and to say it.

Republican said...

Bush sucks

Rachel said...

I love the Importance of Being Earnest as it is in my opinion the most amazing thing Oscar Wilde ever wrote- much cooler than that picutre of the never getting older guy. Dorian Grey or whatever. Which is a book about gay people. And so is the Color Purple.

On a different thread, people shouldn't use titles unless they know what they mean or have read the book/play.

And people probably shouldn't comment on their own blogs, even if it is on other people's posts...

Jesse said...

I think I've seen a movie of The Importance of Being Earnest. And I've heard of a movie starring Whoopie Goldberg (I think) called The Color Purple.

? said...

yeah, there's a book called The Color Purple that a lot of people are currently reading...

uhhh...Nonimus said...

Bush didn't win by a landslide because everyone was having trouble deciding who was the least stupid candidate, but apparently no one realized that all of the candidates were stupid. It's a miracle that humans haven't died off yet...

Abby said...

rachel: why not?

melissa said...

I hate the name ernest. I feel sorry for anyone who has it. Anyway, I hate politics. It brings out the worst in people.

Leah said...

Nah, that The Color Purple was written by a black woman. Can't remember her name right now but I drew her for art class.