Monday, May 29, 2006

Coolest Site(s) Ever

Daily Irony- The song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette has almost nothing to do with irony in itself.

That's a bit ironic. And also our English teacher used it as a song portraying irony. Clearly she's never read my blog. Which at that point wasn't about irony. So clearly she never read my blog in the future when she taught that song...

That's the worst thing about time travel: verb tenses. I need Douglas Adams to help.

Okay... so two really cool sites.
  1. First, if you're into making fun of videogames: Battlefield 2: The PWN3D Life (by the way I did a post on this game a while ago). Also: lots of swearing and some pretending to have sex (no nudity; they're all clothed. But they're like jumping around. It's sooooooo funny).
  2. For the wimps (whimps?) here, try artpad. I seriously reccomending replaying your paintings.

Okay well that's it. See ya.

Friday, May 26, 2006


Probably not the only person blogging about this today, but whatever. First...

Daily Irony- Jimmy was on the bus but Ms. B didn't know he was there. He ran off to tell someone he was on the bus. Then we lost him. So in an attempt to be found, he got lost.

Okay... Here is a timeline without actual times. Approximations of time on occasion. This is like twenty-four hours. Starting last night at...

9:30- I begin getting ready for my trip. I fill my bag with a change of clothes, find my blue tie, etc.

10:15- I get in bed. I don't get to sleep until 10:45 or later.

5:00 AM- I wake up. I try to go back to sleep but I can't. Too excited.

5:43 AM- I get up. I get ready to go, and I'm ready by 6. I play videogames for about 15 minutes. We're ready to go then.

6:30ish- I get to school. I hang out with my friends, throwing sticks at wasps' nests, until we're ready to go.

6:45?- We leave. The bus ride is great: Mafia, movie and all. Fun fun.

IDK- We get to the choral adjudication thing. We sing our songs, and leave. We hang out while the girls change, then we change (apparently dana was in the bathroom) and head off to the park.

10:30ish?- We get to the park. We go right to Great Bear. That's fun (just so that you can make fun of me: i sat with emilyn on all the rides. that was nice). Then we go to Comet.

Comet was COMPLETELY INSANE. First you have to know the restraints: an airplane type seatbelt that you pull up to release, and a bar that sits about 3 inches above my thigh and I could easily slip out of. Okay, so we're going up this steep slope and emilyn tells me i have my glasses on. I fold them up and put them in my velcro pocket, and as I pull my hands back up to the bar they brush against my seat buckle and unbuckle it! I say to emilyn (more out of shock than anything), "I unbuckled my seatbelt". She says "What?!?". And I begin to realize what's happening and I say, "I'm not buckled in". So now I'm freaking out because I can't buckle myself in without letting go of the bar which will most likely result in my untimely death, so I'm clutching it with all my strength and Emilyn's grabbing me and we're both totally flipping out. But long-story short I make it. And that was very traumatic.

We do some more coasters and get lunch (mine is gross so i end up eating other people's) and yeah...

Let's see...

Important Stuff after that...

Some people budge in front of us on line. This leads to an all-out war, though my friends are not wanting to be involved.

Our group (Me, Emilyn, Jeff, Jeff, Tim, Katie, Frances, Emily, and Dana. Crap. Am I forgetting someone? Was Kelly there? Whatever) split up for a while when Maddie, Tim, and Katie left. We saw them in line for Comet so we got on line and Emilyn ran up to talk to them and tried to take me and I thought she was trying to get in line with them which I am very opposed to. So I didn't go with her. And the girl in front of us said "Go with her! Why aren't you following her? I think she likes you". And then there was a little silence and then I said, "She's my girlfriend". That was funny. Her name was Claudia and she was from Langston Hughes Middle School outside of D.C.

Okay... more stuff happened but I don't talk about my personal life too much and I've already done it alot so...


Wednesday, May 24, 2006


Daily Irony- You get a phone to call people in the event of an emergency. You carry it around everywhere. When you go skiing, you put the phone in your pocket. It gets caught on a tree, and you fall down and slam into a rock. You are in agony, unable to move, blood everywhere. You can do nothing but watch helplessly as your phone slides down the hill...

Ouch. The irony is that the phone is for an emergency, yet it caused an emergency.

Okay so here's my drat: Tim says my blog is losing steam. It's really not. In fact now I'm going to write a story. Sorry for my obvious copying of Jeff in this idea.

Once there was a handsome young boy named Allan. Allan was very happy in his town of Fishkill, NY. One day Allan and his girlfriend, Teresa, were walking in the woods. It was a very pretty day. On passing a creek, Allan decided that he would hold Teresa's hand. Upon reaching for her hand, Allan realized that Teresa was gone. He turned around and saw that Teresa was looking at a tree.

Allan walked over to the tree and looked at Teresa. For some reason he decided that now would be a good time to kiss her. He leaned over to kiss her but missed, and instead kissed the tree. Allan was a bit dissapointed. He then saw that Teresa had farther back to look at some flowers.

Allan walked to her and had another idea. He figured that he would put his arm around Teresa's neck to rest it there in that weird thing that boyfriend's do to claim ownership of their mate. After staring at the flowers for a time to work out the presise logistics of the manuever, he reached to put his arm around his girlfriend, but missed and instead punched her in the face. He was very embarrased. He turned to apologize when he realized that he had punched a stranger, and that Teresa was on the path in front of him. He looked at the stranger. He was very tall and very strong and holding what appeared to be some sort of large white club with a spike through its top.

"This is a large white club with a spike through its top," said the stranger, "Since you punched me, I intend to hit you with it rather than hear your explanation".

The stranger then preceded to hit Allan with the club. Luckily the spike did not hit Allan, but the blunt force trauma hurt plenty.

The stranger walked on, and Allan, dazed, walked after him. Allan knew he was angry, but didn't know why. He decided that it would be best if he swatted the air. There might be a bug in it he could kill.

After swatting the air for some time, Allan remembered why he was mad. It was because his sister had blamed him for spilling the milk that, in reality, she had spilled. He wrote a note on his hand to get her back. He looked at his hand after scribbling the note, and saw that there was nothing there. He then realized he had no pen. He scribbled a note on his hand that he should get one.

In a complete trance, he saw someone coming towards him. He reached into his backpack and took out a hand-grenade for safety. After remembering he had no backpack and the government did not allow civilians to have hand-grenades, he turned back to the person walking towards him. He realized it was Teresa. Behind her was a pack of dogs, barking like mad. He then realized that, in fact, Teresa was running away from them.

For some reason he decided this would be a good time to give her a hug.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Downward Spiral

Daily Irony- Someone is up too late studying for a test. They don't get enough sleep. As such, they fail the test.

School has set me into a downward spiral. Hey here's a question: why do we go down? Why is down associated with bad things? Why isn't upward associated with badness? Like, "Oh you could go to either heaven, or, ya' know, up there". Wouldn't that be funny.

Why can't we read right to left. Hebrew does! It's so much nicer. But no... left to right. Stupid English. I hate English. You know what else I hate?

Adults who compliment me on my politeness. This is not me bragging about my politeness. But today I said "Thank you" to someone and the adult was like, "Oh you're so polite" and I just wanted to be like "Oh, shut up!". It's very ego-centric of them. To assume that I'm polite so that they might compliment me. I'm polite because it's the right way to be. Not because I might have the honor of some random adult bestowing a compliment on me. Jerks.

Jerk is a funny word, too. You can be a jerk, or you can jerk a string. What is that?

Oh, time to go.

Oh right! Downward spiral. My point was that they're giving us more homework as the year ends and it's stupid. And I was going to brag about how I get to go to Hershey Park on Friday.

Yay for whatever.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

My Slightly Less Productive Day

Daily Irony: Richard Nixon resigned the office of the presidency because he spied on the Democratic headquarters to win the office of the presidency.

He would have won anyway, too. He won 49 states.

Well today was less productive. I went to Hebrew School and a girl scout function to recognise my sister.

And that's it. Okay have to go now... good-bye.

Saturday, May 20, 2006


Okay so daily irony: One of those "Exit" signs that are over doors and glow orange is wired wrong. It catches on fire and burns down the whole building.

So today was so great! It was very productive.

First I wake up at 7:00. I watch TV for an hour and then get out of bed, take a shower, get dressed, eat, and then I'm off at 8:45.

At 9:00 I arrive at Conestoga for Destination Imagination. DI is a kind of cool program that involves solving problems with a very limited amount of time. It is very very fun. Emma was there (incidentally that's where I made up my daily irony) and also some freshman I recognized. Very fun.

12:00 it's over. My sister (my wonderful wonderful sister who chaperoned me around all day. I LOVE YOU RACHEL!!!) picked me up and brought me for subs (hoagies, grinders, w/e) and then to our house. After about an hour of eating, TV, and playing N64 games on the computer using PJ64 as an emulator (whoa... when I went to "" it went to this odd site. It's definitely worth a visit. Visit it. It'll take like two seconds. Really. All it is is two sentences). More fun. Then at around 1:45 we went to Jeff's play place so that I could audition for "Guys and Dolls, Jr.". That was very fun, and I thought I did okay. I told them my goal was Nicely-Nicely, hence the title of this post. I saw the paper after I was done; one comment under singing was "good". So this means I do have a chance of being the character I want, which I previously thought impossible.

Okay... lastly was something personal which I don't talk about on my blog but that was also fun. But we saw Jon in "As You Like It"! Yay mucho fun too.

Okay so that was my day. Yeah...


Friday, May 19, 2006

The Test

Irony- You plant a tree to help the enviorment. It gets hit by lightning and falls on your hybrid car.

Okay... so here's the test. I recieved an email from Brooke. A chain email. As always, I hate chain emails, but I figured it would make a good test. The email itself says that if I send it to five people and make a wish, I will get my wish in 13 (my age) minutes. There are also some stories. My question is "How do they add stories when the good thing occurs after you send the email?". But it doesn't matter.

My wish was simple: I wished for a dollar. As soon as I sent the email I started the timer. I currently have 8 minutes, 31 seconds.

Let's see if it works.

**NOTE** I am now leaving the computer. I will leave the post available, and I will finish in 8 minutes, 14 seconds.

**EDIT** Yep. It didn't work.

So, in conclusion...


Thursday, May 18, 2006

Reply to all

Irony of the day: People replying-to-all saying, "Stop replying-to-all" or something to that effect.

Umm... yeah that's it.

I've decided to add my script for "Peanuts for Sale" on my Xanga. It'll be like a million hours long so feel free not to read it.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

On Health Reports

Ugh. Health report on smallpox. Which leads to...

Daily Irony: In 1902, more people died from the vaccination of smallpox than the disease itself.

This is actually true.

Sunday, May 14, 2006


Irony of the day: Saying "Yo hablar espanol bueno". Obviously with appropriate accents and tildes.

It means "I speak spanish well" but there is a mistake in conjugating the verb. This has happened to our class many a time.

I've always pointed out the irony.

I have lots of homework. Is it just me or as the year winds down are they giving us more?

I have to go now. Bye.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I am the Blue


Heh heh.

So concert tonight.

I need to go finish my homework, eat my poptart. So...


So Rachel is officially done blogging.

Thank you, Rachel, for being such a great blogger.

Now it's just me. And the new blog is "I <3 Irony". Basically it's the same thing but with daily ironies.

Daily irony of today: Not knowing how to spell "misspell". And yes, that is how you spell it.

And, by the way...

I really do heart irony.

Also I'll be working on customizing my layout, so bear with me. And anyone who sees something like, "we", "us", or "our", please let me know. I'm doing my best to get make things singular.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Stupid Survey #3

But this one is different.

Because I'm making this survey.

Yep, full of awkward, annoying, and insane questions.

So take it, email it to people, post it on your blog.


Alright, here we go...

  1. Wait, what?
  2. So this is question number two, right?
  3. You probably said, like, "yes" or "duh" or something to that last answer. How pathetically predictable. Loser.
  4. Okay so now to the actual questions.
  5. Wait...
  6. Now.
  7. Are you a boy or a girl?
  8. Age?
  9. Country?
  10. Do you have a dog?
  11. How about a cat?
  12. A fish?
  13. Alright, just like any strange pet?
  14. Do you have a crush on someone?
  15. Does anyone know?
  16. Do they know?
  17. Do you tell people normally, or are you like the secretive type?
  18. Whatever. Do you take alot of surveys?
  19. Do you feel like it's a girly thing to do?
  20. Do you like sushi?
  21. If you were sushi, what kind of sushi would you be?
  22. Have you used the phrase "WTF!?!?" to answer any of these questions?
  23. Do you swear often?
  24. What group do you fit into (i.e. nerds, jocks, stupid people, ali...)?
  25. Gmail?
  26. Blogger?
  27. What is your earliest memory?
  28. Favorite food?
  29. Favorite food that is commonly served at dinner?
  30. Do you have a Christmas dinner? On Christmas day or Christmas eve?
  31. Do you still trick or treat?
  32. What was your best Halloween costume?
  33. Your worst costume?
  34. Is this survey annoying yet?
  35. Fine. Well, I don't like you either.
  36. What was your most embarrassing moment?
  37. What was your most depressing moment?
  38. What was your happiest moment?
  39. What is your moment?
  40. What? No... shut up.
  41. Are you still naive enough to believe in Santa Clause?
  42. Do you know what "naive" means (without looking it up)?
  43. If you were a color, what color would you be?
  44. Do you know any songs that you are ashamed to know?
  45. Do you have a really embarrassing secret?
  46. Please don't put it on the internet. Moron.
  47. Do you play any instruments?
  48. Do you play any instruments?
  49. Yeah, okay. My bad.
  50. And that's all. So, anything else?

Yeah alright so Carissa or Serena, you have to get this circulating among your Xanga community.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

2 Minutes

There is a waiting period in almost everything in life.

And there is certainly one in making, and eating, a poptart.

So I post this post in two minutes. When I hear the toaster ding, I will stop saying whatever I'm saying and type "DING" and that will be the end.

So this morning I have Hebrew School. I will go to hebrew s


Friday, May 05, 2006


Hamburgers are delicious. They have a bun, maybe some lettuce and tomato, ketchup, and then the actual beef.

Why is it the only meat we don't call by the name of the animal is "beef"? Chicken is chicken, turkey is turkey, tofu is tofu.

Oh that reminds me. Tofu doesn't make a good pet. Have you ever seen a wild tofu? It's so crazy. They can get pretty vicious. My cat once got beat up by a pack of tofu.

So if you ever see some tofu in the forest, make yourself as small as possible. Tofus are afraid of small things. Take off your jacket and assume fetal position.

Fetal rhymes with beetle. Like the Beatles. Which is a band. So that's why I'm going to...

I'm listening to Smashmouth. It's a weird band. But it's not bad. The song is called "Walkin' on the Sun". Which reminds me. Don't try walking on the sun.

I hear it gets kind of warm.

Now the song switched to "Istanbul" by They Might Be Giants.

This morning I made a delayed reaction joke. I made a joke, then, silence, then...


Anyway the moral of the story is that hamburgers are tasty.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

In a Haze

You know how in those books you read, it says people moved "with a dream-like quality"? I never knew what that meant.

But today I did.

And here's my pathetic attempt to describe it.

My sister is talking to me. I can hear her, but, what is she saying? I don't think it matters.

My mouth is answering her. I'm speaking very quietly. Oh well. And I forgot my sweatshirt upstairs. I mention something about it to...

Whoever that girl that's in the room with me is...

My feet are already moving me to the door, but my eyes are focused on the ground. My hand reaches out for the door handle. I remember to look up, but...

Oops. I already opened the door. Now I'm just looking at the elevator. And now the water fountain, and now, oh, look. There's the ground again.

I'm moving at a normal pace, but it seems slower. The walls are white. But not like painted cinderblock. Just normal white walls.

I've turned the corner again. And I'm going up the stairs. They're a horrible shade of gray. Maybe they're rubber. Maybe, they're...




What was I saying again?

Still moving. Stairs behind me. Back to plain white walls and horrible linoleum floors. Did I mention the floors? They're horrible. And linoleum.

I'm reaching my hand out for the door handle. I grab the handle instinctively; I had gone through this door a bunch of times. My hand turns, as I pull backwards. And now I'm in the room. I grab my sweat shirt and open the door again.

Same process. Linoleum. Walls. Stairs. Linoleum. Walls. Rachel.

She's saying something again.

And then...


I've woken up.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Why we need a blog orphanage

Three blogs! Maddie abandoned THREE BLOGS. That's terrible.

Where is Angelina Jolie when you need her? She should adopt a few.

Also, prejudice is a terrible thing, Tim. Watch a movie before you insult it.

I have to go now, so I'll end with...

*Mutters to self about how many blogs Maddie abandoned*