Friday, May 05, 2006

Hamburgers

Hamburgers are delicious. They have a bun, maybe some lettuce and tomato, ketchup, and then the actual beef.

Why is it the only meat we don't call by the name of the animal is "beef"? Chicken is chicken, turkey is turkey, tofu is tofu.

Oh that reminds me. Tofu doesn't make a good pet. Have you ever seen a wild tofu? It's so crazy. They can get pretty vicious. My cat once got beat up by a pack of tofu.

So if you ever see some tofu in the forest, make yourself as small as possible. Tofus are afraid of small things. Take off your jacket and assume fetal position.

Fetal rhymes with beetle. Like the Beatles. Which is a band. So that's why I'm going to...

I'm listening to Smashmouth. It's a weird band. But it's not bad. The song is called "Walkin' on the Sun". Which reminds me. Don't try walking on the sun.

I hear it gets kind of warm.

Now the song switched to "Istanbul" by They Might Be Giants.

This morning I made a delayed reaction joke. I made a joke, then, silence, then...

Laughter.

Anyway the moral of the story is that hamburgers are tasty.

27 comments:

ali-en said...

wow....that's like the doodle game. you know, that game where one person doodles, then the other person doodles something next to it and makes a caption, then so one and so forth. i did that with my friend today. it started with an alien saying "hello...helloooo..." and ended with a smiley face saying, "cabbages should die." lol.

spelled like an e, sounds like an ali said...

omg i almost forgot!!!! mr. poche was our sub today!!! and you know how my math class is really bad, right? well, there were all these people talking. he got mad about that and threatened robbie. then these other guys started calling him "mr. poochie" and "mr poached-eggs". that made him REALLY mad, and he started FREAKING OUT. he was all "my name is mr. poche, and you guys have had me for long enough to know that!! are you LOOKING for ways to provoke me?" LOL!!! i almost cracked up. provoke him??? what's he gonna do, sit on us?

jon said...

SAM C'MON!! What about pork? It is in the same classification as beef, pork is not an animal.

Carissa said...

You forgot about carrots. Carrots are carrots when you eat them and when they are alive. my pet carrot ran away yesterday. It was sad.

monica said...

hahha. mr. poche is funny. he's my friend's grandpa. that's how old he is. :)

SCHOOL HAMBURGERS = YUCKY

idk why i had one today. (with cheese and KETCHUP!!!!)

'tis acinom again said...

hahhaha isn't it weird how it says at the bottom..."choose an identity"??????????

Jen said...

O____o;; good for you...

freak.

Abby said...

hey, that's like the thing from... oh, what's it called, start's with a "j"... by sir walter scott... oh, i'll remember it at some point, but anyhow, in the beginning these two guy are talking about that, the pork vs. pig thing. I never read the whole book, i only started it.

Angie said...

I like the song Walking On the Sun!!! or, at least I used to when I listened to smashmouth!!! When the morning comes....

Melissa said...

yeah, and we don't call pig pig, we call it ham.

My grandmother always tells us that all men love ham. No one has proved her wrong yet, except for male vegitarians but they don't count in the world of ham-loving men.

serena said...

oh wow. that was the most special thing i have ever read. but i can make exceptions for sam

i would also like to add that tofu is amazing. It comes in many forms: spongey, tofuey, tofurkey..et cetera et cetera.

your post was like a series of unfortunate events?

Jon said...

NO!!! PUTTING ET CETERA MORE THAN ONCE IS INCORRECT!!!! Et already means and, and cetera means the rest. If you didn't notice it is a pet peeve of mine for the placement of more than one et cetera. That and people who prounce cetera with a soft c, it is a hard c sound.

Jon said...

Oh and for all who wish to see me, as Duke Frederick, the evil Duke, in the Shipley School's production of William Shakespeare's show, As You Like It, contact me via this blog. The dates are the following: Friday the 19th, at seven; Saturday the 20th, at seven; Sunday the 21st, at two. And you know you wanna come, so reserve tickets now cause they really do go fast, in the fall we had all three shows over sold.

Anonymous said...

Hey Monica!

What about people who keep kosher? Ever thought of the Jews, huh? Huh?

ali's obsessed!!! said...

omg...i'm SO freakishly obsessed with Wicked!!! my sister and i are bugging our parents to take us to it!!! all my broadway-obsesssed friends would be proud!!!! so far i have "defying gravity", "I'm Not That Girl", "Popular" and "What is This Feeling". And then i ran out of money on iTunes!! it kept going, "there is a problem with your account balence" and i was like, "noooooooooooooooooooooooo..." and i know that i'm being a hypocrite b/c i bitch about your musical obsession, but @ least i'm not going to be singing it all the time. cuz i can't sing. my sister's glinda. i'm elphaba...nvm inside joke.
yay!!!

tofali said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
tofali said...

oh and also tofu is made almost all if not totally out of soy. EWWWWW!

i told you i said...

Of course, that's coming from someone who's allergic to soy...

(cough cough, ali...)

monica said...

im allergic to dogs :( and cats :(

Abby said...

oooh, someone got deleted...

hey! i'd like tickets! But i bet I can get them through Katie if it's too much trouble

ali x 2 said...

i got deleted.
i posted twice :(
cuz my computers just weird like that
and yes i am allergic to soy. as everyone in core ext found out.

Jon said...

Yo Abby, it coo' to get 'em through Katie.

Leah said...

What's the use of astericking the last letter of something? That post was kind of hyper. I applaud you. I love Walking on the Sun, it's funny. In response to your previous post, welcome to the weird dream club.

Sri said...

I would like to comment on the post, Sam, but I can't. It's just too weird. Instead, I leave you all with a link. Click on my name to get to it. GOOGLE RULES!

ali can't think of a new title thing said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
serena said...

wait, jon...you go to shipley??

ok..yea i go to AIS.

AND we're reading As You Like It in english class. it's quite a strange book with a woman dressing up as a man acting as a woman..

and duke frederick is evilll

Jon said...

DAMN STRAIGHT DUKE FREDERICK IS EVIL!!!