Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Drat!

Daily Irony- You get a phone to call people in the event of an emergency. You carry it around everywhere. When you go skiing, you put the phone in your pocket. It gets caught on a tree, and you fall down and slam into a rock. You are in agony, unable to move, blood everywhere. You can do nothing but watch helplessly as your phone slides down the hill...

Ouch. The irony is that the phone is for an emergency, yet it caused an emergency.

Okay so here's my drat: Tim says my blog is losing steam. It's really not. In fact now I'm going to write a story. Sorry for my obvious copying of Jeff in this idea.

Once there was a handsome young boy named Allan. Allan was very happy in his town of Fishkill, NY. One day Allan and his girlfriend, Teresa, were walking in the woods. It was a very pretty day. On passing a creek, Allan decided that he would hold Teresa's hand. Upon reaching for her hand, Allan realized that Teresa was gone. He turned around and saw that Teresa was looking at a tree.

Allan walked over to the tree and looked at Teresa. For some reason he decided that now would be a good time to kiss her. He leaned over to kiss her but missed, and instead kissed the tree. Allan was a bit dissapointed. He then saw that Teresa had farther back to look at some flowers.

Allan walked to her and had another idea. He figured that he would put his arm around Teresa's neck to rest it there in that weird thing that boyfriend's do to claim ownership of their mate. After staring at the flowers for a time to work out the presise logistics of the manuever, he reached to put his arm around his girlfriend, but missed and instead punched her in the face. He was very embarrased. He turned to apologize when he realized that he had punched a stranger, and that Teresa was on the path in front of him. He looked at the stranger. He was very tall and very strong and holding what appeared to be some sort of large white club with a spike through its top.

"This is a large white club with a spike through its top," said the stranger, "Since you punched me, I intend to hit you with it rather than hear your explanation".

The stranger then preceded to hit Allan with the club. Luckily the spike did not hit Allan, but the blunt force trauma hurt plenty.

The stranger walked on, and Allan, dazed, walked after him. Allan knew he was angry, but didn't know why. He decided that it would be best if he swatted the air. There might be a bug in it he could kill.

After swatting the air for some time, Allan remembered why he was mad. It was because his sister had blamed him for spilling the milk that, in reality, she had spilled. He wrote a note on his hand to get her back. He looked at his hand after scribbling the note, and saw that there was nothing there. He then realized he had no pen. He scribbled a note on his hand that he should get one.

In a complete trance, he saw someone coming towards him. He reached into his backpack and took out a hand-grenade for safety. After remembering he had no backpack and the government did not allow civilians to have hand-grenades, he turned back to the person walking towards him. He realized it was Teresa. Behind her was a pack of dogs, barking like mad. He then realized that, in fact, Teresa was running away from them.

For some reason he decided this would be a good time to give her a hug.

13 comments:

Jon said...

yes...

carissa said...

amazing story. you should go and get it PUBLISHED. i think it should be a PICTURE BOOK!

hong said...

that was..random..but..creative?

hong said...

I'm thinking about long socks tomorrow (seriously)..should I wear them?

Abby said...

hahaa, poor allan. him and dates in the woods don't seem to agree very well.

Angie said...

alright, but I don't think it dissproved tim's statement

ALi said...

riiiiiiiiiight
i loooove ur socks by the way
**sarcasm**

monica said...

NO DONT MAKE IT A PICTURE BOOK!!! THE CLUB PART IS SCARY!

Jen said...

Aw... I love the ending...

but the guy is so um.... "mental" in every way and form.

I assume you got the female character's name from that assembly today. How do I know? Well, "Teresa" is also commonly spelled "Theresa" or many other ways.

Ali said...

omg, marching band is killing my soul AND hurting my feet. probably not the best day to break in my new converses but what can i say i'm never letting them out of my sight. and that means NEVER, mister!!

Frances =) said...

Um. . .feeling ok there?
And he wrote this day day before our online assembly thing. . .just to point that out. Ya.
Sam. . .you ARE special. . .

ali said...

everyone is SPECIAL frances.
i.e., I am special cuz i had SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
my exclamation points had exclamation points!!

Sri the guy who broke his ankle said...

Sorry to burst your bubble and add to your drat, Sam, but your blog really is losing steam. To be honest, I liked it better the other way. The colors clash, the title sucks(no offense), and the premise has changed, and it's not for the better. Aaaand, I'm rambling. Why? Oh right, I broke my ankle. *sighs*