Love and Videogames

Curtain opens very tight on two desks, two chairs, and two computers - a small portion of the Friday night LAN party at a local internet cafe. PLAYER 1 is at the left computer, playing a game. He faces the audience.

Beside both of the desks are two large televisions hooked up to the computers, displaying what's happening on the computer. PLAYER 1 is doing pretty well on his game. The other screen is a screensaver.

PLAYER 2 walks on and sits at the other computer. He stares at the monitor. PLAYER 1 looks at him, then turns back to the computer.

PLAYER 1
What's going on, man?

PLAYER 2
I've made a huge mistake.

PLAYER 1 keeps playing.

PLAYER 2
You know that girl who comes here sometimes? She plays, like, sick pyro and everything?

PLAYER 1
Sure.

PLAYER 2
I was just talking to her, right? And last time we were kind of joking around about her bringing me a Mountain Dew for me to drink this week while I'm playing.

PLAYER 1's character dies. He sits back from the computer and waits for the respawn.

PLAYER 1
Speaking of playing, do you want to, like, play? I could seriously use some medicking here.

PLAYER 2
Medic - that's not a verb. You could use a med-

PLAYER 1
Yeah, okay. I could use a-

PLAYER 2
I'm just saying, maybe you could use some healing or something.

PLAYER 1
Just stop griping and get on the damn game.

PLAYER 2 grumbles a bit about verbs as he turns to his computer and opens up the game.

PLAYER 2
So anyway, we're talking about this Mountain Dew thing.

PLAYER 1
I'm on the server we use all the time.

PLAYER 2
The server we use all the time.

PLAYER 1
Yeah, I'm on that server.

PLAYER 2
You're saying the server we use every time - all the time - one hundred percent of the time. You're on that one. That's the one you want me to know you're on.

PLAYER 1 (clueless)
Yeah, man! Connect or whatever!

A beat. PLAYER 2 connects or whatever. There is some silence as his game loads the server. He selects his class - not a medic - and begins playing.

PLAYER 2
She forgot the Mountain Dew, though. That's the thing. She forgot it.

PLAYER 1
Huh?

PLAYER 2
The Mountain Dew she promised me last week. She forgot it.

PLAYER 1
Oh yeah, right.

PLAYER 2
So she says, "oh," you know, like, "I forgot your soda. How can I make it up to you?"

Silence. A spy saps one of the engineer's buildings on PLAYER 1's screen.

PLAYER 1
Spy! Spy, there's a spy. That soldier is a spy.

PLAYER 2
"How can I make it up to you?!" That is just asking for it! I could have just said you can go on a date with me on Friday. Why didn't I say that?

PLAYER 1
Right, man, you've got to- the spy is going to get away. He's cloaking hit him hit him! Ax, man! Use your ax.

PLAYER 2
I just said you can bring me one next week.

PLAYER 2 kills the spy.

PLAYER 1
Good, good, now, can we get some more people around here? [Shouting to the surrounding, off-stage LAN partiers] Can we get some more people around me and player 2? We're going to go for the flag and we need a few more people.

Murmurs of assent from off-stage, but no one is appearing on screen.

PLAYER 2
I don't even like Mountain Dew. What is wrong with me? You can just bring me some next week.

PLAYER 1
Hey, alright, I don't see anyone here. Where are you guys?

PLAYER 2
I bet that could have been something sweet she could have found out about me, that that whole Mountain Dew thing was just an excuse to talk to her.

PLAYER 1
Seriously, no one?

PLAYER 2 (suddenly paying attention to the game)
Let's just go without them.

PLAYER 1
No man, that'll never work. It's safer to wait for a few more guys.

PLAYER 2 starts to run his guy out of the base.

PLAYER 2
I'm sick of doing what's safe! I always just do what's safe! I want to take a risk!

PLAYER 1
What are you talking about, man? Where are you running off to?

His character is running out the door.

PLAYER 2
I want to go! I don't want to be cautious. I just want to-

In the daylight, outside his base, PLAYER 2 is sniped like a n00b. The respawn screen turns on.

PLAYER 1
I told you that would happen. Hey, listen, will you switch classes? I need someone to medic me.

Blackout.