Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Things Did Not Go As Planned, Part I

Part I of this file is an excerpt from a NASA debriefing following the infamous Milwaukee Incident. Part II is a document that a machine scavenged from the wreckage of the Fubu Spacecraft was displaying shakily.

PART I

Things did not go as planned.

Our best efforts to contact aliens, from the beaming of Beatles' songs into space to the probes prickling with information about the human race and our interests, had not seemed in vain when the Fubu arrived. They seemed to understand our culture, at least towards the beginning of its visit.

The Fubu Spacecraft was spotted at 3:58 AM EST over a small suburb outside of Atlanta, GA, and NASA officials were informed at 7:30 AM EST when sightings had already been reported over Russia, Kazakhstan, Rwanda, Belgium, and Brazil, in that order. Preparations were made, and the military was alerted to the Fubu presence. Administrators tracked it as it jumped all over the radar, finally slowing and settling over the bustling metropolis of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

It hovered there for some time, providing the time for a necessary military and NASA presence. A large media convoy arrived shortly as well, but was dealt with by the local police and police from the surrounding area.

And then, at 11:30 AM, as the world looked on, the Fubu Spacecraft landed. It descended gracefully on the edge of Lake Michigan, extending a long walkway. A cordoned-off area with a 50-yard radius was immediately created around the end of walkway. A NASA administrator was placed in this area, roughly ten feet from the end of the walkway.

At 11:38 AM, the first Fubu stepped out.

(At this point the document includes a picture of the Fubu from a Milwaukee Newspaper and a photocopy of the Fubu File from the NASA records. The highlighted text is as follows.)

The Fubu are a sentient being from a currently unknown location outside of the Earth and also, most likely, the Milky Way. The Fubu are a grey, amorphous species. They use massive motile cilia for movement, though there has been some evidence to suggest that the cilia also serve to collect information about the environment. The Fubu also are able to survey their surroundings by way of at least one baseball-sized eye that is visible when the Fubu are upright (that is, when they plant part of their body and put the rest of their body above the planted section, growing in height but shortening in girth). The eye seems to function roughly the same as an animal eye.

(The document resumes here.)

The Fubu was awkwardly dressed into Western business attire. Its outfit featured a purple button-down shirt, a yellow and green polka-dot tie, and a brown plaid jacket (this outfit has led many to believe that the Fubu are, in fact, color blind). Both arms of the shirt had been filled; the Fubu seemed to have an enormous control over their membrane and the fluid inside, forming extra limbs at will.

The creature tumbled haphazardly down the stairs that extended from the spacecraft. It immediately stood up, its cilia bristling wildly, and examined its surroundings with its eye. It proceeded to shake violently, pause, and then begin moving towards the NASA Administrator.

The NASA Administrator, obviously nervous, did his best to be cordial as he extended his hand, welcoming the alien to Earth. The Fubu extended a cilia on an arm-like limb. The NASA administrator shook the cilia.

The cilia fell off in the administrator's hands.

The world froze. The Fubu bristled wildly, and then threw itself on top of the administrator. The military raised their weapons, waiting for an order.

There appeared to be a silent struggle going on. The Fubu, now completely enveloping the NASA administrator, shook wildly as the man he covered fought against the creature's rubbery grip. Minutes passed; the struggle continued.

The military officers refused to let their men fire. They had no way of knowing what was going on, and even if they did they would have undoubtedly hit the administrator as the bullet pierced the Fubu.

Suddenly, the Fubu straightened, revealing the red-faced administrator, frightened but apparently unharmed. The Fubu bowed gracelessly, and then proceeded once again to survey the crowd.

There was a stunned silence.

The Fubu bristled up again, and then, somehow, roared at the crowd. The noise was not deafening by any means, but it was certainly a roar.

The army opened fire. For ten seconds, every gun in the area was being fired at the Fubu, filling its body with lead.

There was another pause as the firing stopped, and then the Fubu turned suddenly around and climbed clumsily back up the stairs to its spacecraft

At 11:52 AM, three minutes after it had entered, the Fubu appeared once again in the door, fell hurriedly down the stairs, and once again faced the people of Earth. The alien no longer was wearing clothing. It paused for a second, bristled, and then ejected a large piece of metal from the top of its membrane.

The metal fell harmlessly to the ground.

With one more clumsy bow, the Fubu climbed back into its spacecraft. The stairs rose. The spacecraft departed at 11:58 AM.

At 11:59 AM, the military scrambled jets all over the United States. At 12:00 PM, a Medium Combat Aircraft shot down the Fubu Spacecraft over Athens, Vermont.

(The document ends here with a list of other files that relate to the incident, including the Fubu autopsy and the list of the contents of the Fubu spacecraft).

This is my 400th post! Also I promise Part II will tie this together.

6 comments:

Frances said...

i actually can't finish reading this right now but i will in a little bit.
so far so good.
yay :)
wow sorry this was such a useless comment.

Quite bored... said...

Sam, it's "haphazardly" not "half-hazardly"...and even during the Cold War, it would have taken more than 60 seconds to scramble a jet and have it take off and intercept a flying thingy o_O.

Heh...useless comment #2, but I'm bored...

Jedi_Raptor07 said...

Nice. Pretty sure I know how it's going to end, but still can't wait to see what will happen.

Come to think of it, this sounds exactly like what would happen should aliens arrive. Except for the part with the alien showing up in Western Business Attire.

Jeff said...

Did the alien spit out a mass of bullets when he spat out the metal? Did i interpret that correctly?

Good story though :D

Jeff said...

OMG! ALIENS?! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS WASN'T ON THE NEWS!

Frances said...

I just finished it and wow that is really intense.
I seem to say intense a lot.
but it was realy interesting!
Fubu is such a weird word tho.
haha. :)