Saturday, August 12, 2006

Part 3

I have a headache.

Why yes, you do. Way to figure that out.

It's pretty bad.

Duh.

Why are you being so sarcastic?

What else would I be?

Good point.

Thank you.

Got anything to eat?

Nope.

I'm not hungry. I was just wondering.

You should open your eyes now.

Why's that?

Because this whole "self-narration" thing is stupid.

Fine.

I opened my eyes. And then closed them.

This was mainly because, on the ceiling, there was a drawing. A drawing of what appeared to be a pickle.

I like pickles.

No, you don't.

Oh that's right.

I opened my eyes again, looking up at the pickle. I stood up, looking around the room I was in what appeared to be a room.

That's good. You've established that you're in a room.

Shut up, would you? I'm trying to think.

No you shut up. I'm going to sing "The Circle of Life".

Please don't.

The Ciiiiiiiiiiiiiiircle of Life.

Ugh.

As my conscience went on singing this song, I decided I would look around. There was nothing in the room besides the pickle on the ceiling, and a door.

I decided I would open the door. As I reached for the handle, the door exploded.

The door just exploded.

And it moves us aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall

Ugh. Stupid mind.

I walked through the door into a room that appeared to be full of lollipops.

I took a lollipop and ate it.

It tasted like...

Nothing at all.

Frances entered the room.

"Hello, Frances." I said.

"Shut up. You got me into this mess. Luckily I have these ruby slippers."

She punched me in the face, tapped her slippers together, and dissapeared.

Ah, well.

I stocked up on some lollipops and went through another door. This, too, exploded.

I ignored it, and kept walking.

Nothing was in this room, either. After exploding several doors, I came upon a room with nothing but a table.

On the center of the table was a switch.

I flicked it.

Suddenly, George Gershwin appeared. He was holding a stick.

"YOU STUPID KID!" he yelled, "I WAS IN HEAVEN UNTIL YOU POINTED OUT THAT I WAS JEWISH!"

He then proceeded to beat me to death.

After I died, I decided I would explore the rooms some more. Once I found a window, I jumped out.

There was no ground. Just, white. No one was around. The rooms rapidly dissapeared, and I was floating in whiteness.

And then, everything went black.

And then white again.

And then black. This was giving me a headache.

A headache?

Yes. I have a headache.

Please not this again.

The end.

11 comments:

nerdjedi said...

Um... right.

angie said...

ooooo- i liked this one.

hey- your conshince sounds like... ME.

yes, conshince. oh- ha.

Jeff said...

I am thoroughly offended! I did not make another appearence! Joking of course. Nice story! Continue at your leisure.

Carissa said...

LOL SAM! That was funny.

Jen said...

xD heh. I like it. Especially the pickle part. I like how you're hipocritical in stories. Especially in the "I am a duck" introduction where the duck said he liked irony, but he hated it.

emma said...

yes! frances retaliated!

kelly h said...

I love the Circle of Life! Cuz it moves us all!!! kay. that was corny. fun fun.

Leah said...

That was ok. If odd. Especially the part about not liking pickles. I like pickles. Except really soft pickles. Pickles run out fast at my house. Pickles were probably first made in Mesopotamia. Why is it called Mesopotamia? Was there a Neatopotamia? Who here has finished The Chosen? I'm kind of stuck on the study guide.

Jen said...

I'm finished the chosen. I finished in July.

Study guide? Oh, that... oops. xD

Leah said...

Darn, I was hoping to compare with somebodie's. I'm stuck on a few parts.

Leah said...

Heh, somebodie's. I mean, somebody's. And, hey Sam, I'm gone for an entire week and you don't notice?!