Wednesday, August 02, 2006


David glanced at his watch.

2:37 A.M.

It had been two minutes.

They should be here by now. He really didn't know what he would do when they got here.

They would burst into the room and head straight for the locked closet. Doubtless they would have the key by now. Lance would gladly hand it over and reveal the location of his trusted partner of 10 years.

David thought of Lance and cursed him under his breath.

He should have shot him right there when he had the chance.

Lance and him had pulled this kind of thing for their entire partnership. Tonight should have been easy.


They had everything perfect.

Mask. Car. Gun.

His thoughts wandered back to the rain-slicked street. The target was walking toward the car. David sat in the alley next to the car, in between two garbage cans. Lance was behind the blacked-out windows of the van, sitting shotgun.

David smiled. Shotgun.

The target had four more steps until he reached the alley.

First, Lance would open the window, and ask the target for directions, showing him the map.

Three more steps.

The target would lean over, and Lance would grab his collar, pointing the 12-guage at the man's chin, telling him to give him his wallet.

Two more steps.

David would sneak up from behind and inject the tranquilizer he carried into the target's arm.

Another step.

He would then proceed to shove the target into the back of the van as Lance moved over to the driver's seat and drive off.

Lance rolled down the window, and said something that David couldn't make out. The target leaned over and Lance grabbed him, jamming the shotgun into the man's chest.

As David recalled, it was at this point that things began to go wrong.

Six loud gunshots came from the roof above him. They shattered the car windshield and the back window, as well as drilling three holes into the car. The last shot was unfortunate. It slammed into Lance's arm. He screamed and let go of the target, who immedietely began to run. Lance took the 12-guage out and leaned out the window, resting it on the side-view mirror. He took quick aim at the running figure.

David paled. He knew what his boss would do if the target died.

"Stop!" he yelled. He dropped the hypodermic needle and pulled out his pistol, aiming it at Lance. Lance, of course, didn't listen. He squeezed the trigger off for what would have killed the target then and there.

As luck would have it, the gunman from above took two more shots at this point, having reloaded his gun. They both hit the shotgun, effectively rendering it useless.

David jumped out of the alley and rolled across the sidewalk, landing against the car in a seated position. He took brief aim with the pistol and let four shots fly at the man firing from above. He slumped over, dead.

Lance yelled at David to get in, and David didn't hesitate to. Lance gunned the car before David got a chance to shut his door, aiming for the target.

"Lance!" David yelled, pointing the pistol at him. He hoped the scare would be enough, but Lance kept accelerating towards the running figure.

David aimed the gun in the air and shot it through the car's ceiling, certain that this would stop Lance. It scared him enough for him to let go of the wheel, but the car directed itself at the target and hit him. The target flew a full ten feet before smashing into a parking meter.

David was shaking. He pointed the gun once more at Lance and said as calmly as he could, "You have four seconds to get out of this car".

Lance took two.

David jumped over to the driver's side and peeled off. Lance tried shooting out the tire, but the shotgun wasn't very accurate. It harmlessly glanced off the asphalt.

Sirens were going off in the distance. David didn't bother trying to blend in with the rest of the traffic; his windshield was gone. He swerved around, finally pulling into a spot several blocks from his apartment. He succeeded in pulling the licence plate from the car and then walked back to his apartment, scared. He would grab some things and get a cab to the airport.

He sprinted up his stairs and into the loft. He took a second to look out the window. There were two cars, both the same as him. Blacked-out windows. Four men in business suits got out. They went into the lobby.

David snapped back in reality and looked at his watch again. 2:39. It had been another two minutes. Why were they taking so long getting up the stairs.

And then he heard the door open. It had been a mistake to give Lance the key. David gritted his teeth and hoped they had killed him.

"David," said a deep voice, "You failed us tonight. This target was worth six million dollars, but you have to go and screw it up. Get out of there. Now."

David didn't move. He didn't even breathe. He was absolutely terrified.

The deep voice spoke again.

"Put a clip in the closet."

Anyway that's my stupid story. I'll post later today with something real.

Oh and today Frances' boyfriend threatened me:

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah duno y i'm laughin but u dont wanna meet me thats all i can say cuz i heard u treated sum1 like crap..."

Well that sucks.


Angie said...

oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness- this is amazing. publish it. seriously. it's good! really good. no- it's great! this is your best one yet.

Jon said...

I have one issue, and maybe I missed something, but in the beginning (damn I can never remember how to spell this, is it a total of three Gs or three Ns??) he looked at his watch and it said 2:37 a.m., then later he looked and it had said 2:34 with no a.m. or p.m. And both times it was two minutes later, the time doesn't really work for me, i.e. how time flies in the story. Great story though. Makes me want to go back and continue mine, you should remember the first part Sam, I wrote it a couple o' summers ago in Lewes. The second part I wrote later that summer. If you want I post 'em tell me, and I will email them to you.

Jen said...

I agree with Angie. It's really well-written.

Hm. I've been through enough of those situations to know that it's best to ignore him. People who use chatspeak that drastically are just trying to look cool. And if you reply with a comeback he'll be really stubborn about insulting you.

Ali said...

that was good
so frances IS going out with chris???
I already hate him a little bit from what he said to you though.

Leah said...

That was good! I wish I could finish something that good. Could you send that in somewhere? I'm currently trying to write a story for the Seventeen contest, but you obviously can't do that. The Neighbors section of the inquirer is a less distinguished, but easier to get into source. Try something. :) Um, I'm not really in a postition to judge who Frances dates, namely because I'm not sure if I've ever even met her.

Melissa said...

Cool story. And I like the threat you got.

nerdjedi said...

You're footer is off. It is one the bottom of the side bar, insteed of at the bottom of the page

Angie said...

whoa- you haven't posted since Wed.! wow.

Angie said...

whoa- you haven't posted since Wed.! wow.

Angie said...

why did that go twice? whatever.

Carissa said...

That's one of your better ones i think.. but why are your stories always so dark and depressing and sad and bad and evil? can't you write something with unicorns and butterflies and faries and happy ever afters?

Ello said...

Yay! That was sehr gut!