Saturday, August 26, 2006

Blog Noir, Part 1

She stepped into my office like she owned the place.

Later, I found out that it wasn't my office. It turned out she did own the place.

Ah, well. That's the way it goes.

I stepped out onto the rain-slicked street and took a drag from my cigarette, watching the moonlight dance on an oily puddle.

Watching moonlight dance on oily puddles while smoking a cigarrette was my specialty, but that's expected in the business. After all, I'm not exactly a garden care specialist. I'm a private eye.

I walked down the avenue, stopping at the bar on the corner. I pushed through the door into the depressing atmosphere, strolling to the bar. The bartender quickly got out a glass, wiped it with a grimy old rag, filled it with Scotch, and set it down in front of me.

I extinguished the cigarrette in the ashtray and drank deeply from the glass. I turned to face the rest of the little dive, looking around at the quiet, depressed patrons.

Trouble sat down on the barstool next to me. It was in the form of a brunette, as usual.

"I have a case for you," she said to the man next to her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, "I'm a chiropractor."

She seemed discouraged at first, and then turned to face me.

"I have a case for you," she said again.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, taking another drink of the Scotch.

"My apartment was ransacked. I don't know what happened, but I lost about two grand in money that I had hid in a sock, as well as about three hundred in damages," she said, "Can you help me?"

"No problem," I answered.

I smiled. This was going to be fun.


Jeff said...

Nice. I'm interested.

Jen said...

:) Ah, nice name. The black blog. Is that the same in spanish? I know "noir" means black in french.

nerdjedi said...

I'm with Jeff: Nice.

nerdjedi said...

However, when will you post that unauthorized biography of Wile E. Coyote?

andrew said...

Nice. Me like. Please continue to write.

You wrote an unauthorized biography of Wile E. Coyote?

Jeff said...

Jen, I think Sam is referring to the "film noir" syle of movies. It's all the old detective movies, basically, mostly in black and white. Actually, a new movie called "Brick" is a film noir set in high school. It's pretty good! I suggest it.

Leah said...

Nice, though I can't really accept the 'this was going to fun' even in a parody. I liked the bit at the beginning. You have actually seen noir, right? (That sounds snippy, but it's a legitimate question, not an insult.)

angie said...

all of you losers just said nice. that's it. well, i'm going to elaborate when i say "nice"-
1. it was a nice use of "slang" vocabulary
2.a nice little funny moment
3.nice how the main character acts towards his job
4.nice how your leaving us in suspense
there. i win.

kelly h said...


emma said...

OOOH that's like "guy noir, private eye" on NPR! i FINALLY UNDERSTAND HIS NAME!

carissa said...

yay another story.

Ali said...

cool. i guess.

Maximus said...

Great Site, great content! Thanks!!!!! My homepage: Spyware Remover

Spartan said...

I like it. You should include Silly Puddy somewhere in the story.

Abby said...

OOOMMGGG PAIRIE HOME COMPANION!!! i love that show (it's a radio show, for you who don't know)!!!!

oh, sam, I saw "Guys and Dolls" while I was at camp. It's a good play. Let me know how it goes (although I hope to see it myslef :-D). Are you the guy who gets to sing "sit down, you're rocking the boat"?

oh, and "ello", what's your picture from?

Molly Wobbles said...

you should write a book sam

Molly Wobbles said...

OMFG and I can do illustrations!!!!! go to my page and click "My Deviantart" in my links to see sample of my work

emma said...

OH MY GOSH SOMEONE ELSE WHO LISTENS TO NPR!!!! do you listen to "whaddya know?" that's my favorite. but guy noir is always pretty funny too.

Abby said...

probably, but idk the segments by name; only "pairie home companion" and "this american life". I love "this american life" in particular.

angie said...

how come so many people comment on your posts?