What's the difference between normal sentences and complete sentences?
WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO?!
And I only posted THREE TIMES this week!
I'm sorry. I'll post more next week.
Anyway the winner of TOtB this week is none other than our very own Jeff.
"Yell insulting comments about the author of said book (the book's mother) and have a very large arguement about kosher laws while eating a cheeseburger. Continue insulting the book's author until the book yells something akin to "Why do you torment me so?" Respond with the ever infamous saying "What's up, Doc?", immitating to your best effort Bugs Bunny. Be sure to be eating a carrot. This should drive the book up a wall and eventually it will turn all the words back into the actual book you were reading. Then continue to read until you've finished the book. After your test, yell insulting comments at the book, which you have found has somehow made its way into your fireplace to be used as fuel."
Although it makes no sense whatsoever, it caught my attention.
That was really the only quality answer of all of them, I think, but next comes Jen:
"Take the book with you to school on the day of the exam. When the teacher asks to speak with you about how you flunked it, show him the book with the insults in it and claim that you read it thouroughly twice, yet you did not find any similarities between that and the test questions. When he moves you down to academic, sue barns and noble, become rich, and you won't have to worry about going to college! ;D"
I would have sued the school also, but whatever.
And last comes Ali:
"pitch the book after doing what i always do-blaming your little brother. then go on sparknotes.com and get the notes. read the actual book nonstop over the next two days, cuz we don't have a test til day 3."
Not great, but not terrible.
Honorable mention: Leah.
"Gah, it's Mr. Mxyzptlk (had to copy-paste that one), my sworn enemy! He's messing with my chances at a hight GPA! I find him, (I don't know, call out insults about his mother and hope my family doesn't think I'm crazy.) then challenge him to a wet tee-shirt contest. Loser has to do whatever the winner says. So, I buy a pair of fake PamAnds (copyright not really) and win the contest. I make him read his name in a mirror. He goes back to his own dimension, and my book is back to normal."
It's the right amount of "bizarre-ness" (patent pending), but it's a bit difficult to understand, too many jokes I don't get, and a tad bit innapropriate.
So Jeff, design a contest for us from Canada.