Thursday, April 27, 2006

On The Variety Show

Bah. It's about a month to the variety show and I have nothing to do.

It's not other people's fault, of course, I've rejected about as many ideas as other people have rejected mine.

So I'm putting up an ad on my blog for a new modern play entitled, "Matchstick".

It has to do with how futile human efforts are and how life is very difficult.

It also has to do with how hard those paper matches are to light.

So here's the story.

In the background the whole time, Beethoven's lyrical "Waltz in E flat Major" is playing. It has a nice A section but a rather violent B section, perfect for this play. If this ever works out, I will be playing it on the piano.

A person walks on stage, and stops in front of a small table with a candle votive on it. They will take out a paper matchbook and show it to the audience. They will then proceed to try to light it. They will become more and more frustrated as time goes on, hitting the matchbook and generally freaking out. When they finally succeed in lighting it someone jumps out of the audience and blows it out. The End.

Alternate ending: once they succeed in lighting it, someone comes out with a suitcase and points angrily at the candle. The two silently begin arguing. The second person takes a small fire extinguisher out of the bag, smothers the flame, then walks away. The End.

The dress will be modest. A boy in either part will wear a white collered shirt with black pants and dress shoes. A girl will wear a blouse with a skirt or slacks.

If you want to join, please comment. I think it would be very funny.

After reading this, feel free to listen to William Bolcom's "Graceful Ghost Rag". I like it.

**EDIT** This is a reminder to check in tommorow after the dance ends (around 10:00 or 10:15) for my rather depressing view of the night's events. Dances seem to bring out my cynical side, as well as my poetic side, and I do enjoy posting my musings. To see my last dance post, click here. If you prefer a lighter topic, check "Why I'm Going to Die", a classic.

21 comments:

Jen said...

Oops.... um, ignore what I said about the variety show in my e-mail!!!

*ponders* Sure, whatever.

Ali said...

uch, SO not going to the dance. i would take watching zoolander at midnight over anything, any time especiallly a dance in a hot, humid gym.

don't worry sam, dances bring out my cynical side too.

as if i had another side.

sam's sister said...

I was just going to mention that no one will be able to see the matches from the audience because they are tiny tiny things and the audience is very far away. you could film it and then play it on a big screen but that would be kind of stupid too.

back to homework

Sam's insane pool owning friend, whose hottub is now functional...yay me said...

Good point, and dances do suck, except the prom, atleast the Shipley's prom, and which appears to only have been good this year, but I do not know considering this is my first prom. It rocked, really really really rocked.

Jon said...

Crap the name does not fit, oh well.

Angie said...

yeah, I don't think those people running the variety show will like the idea of maches.

Angie said...

matches, i mean.

Jeff said...

Newt scene all the way!

Carissa said...

variety show? might be fun. If i'm not doing something with my math class. hehehe. ur SURE that they are having it? and dances.. ugh... so much DRAMA happens at them.

Carissa said...

And we should just get a REALLY BIG MATCH-THINGY! FIRE! FIRE! YAY! muahahahahahahahaha!

Sam's mom said said...

Why don't you play something on the piano and someone you know who can sing could sing, someone you know who can play trombone can play trombone, someone you know who can play sax can play sax.

Sam's mom said...

said said?

Jon's friend said...

Jon -- is your pool open? i saw the prom pictures and you looked amazing!

Sam said...

i hate when family comments on my blog.

Sri. Try not to be alarmed said...

Still, I agree with Carissa:
GET A REALLY BIG MATCH-THINGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FIRE FUUUNNNN!!!!!!!!!! no, i'm not an arsonist... *to self* deluded pervs...

Sri. said...

Oh, and your "jumping cats" link doesn't work. As a responsible webmaster, I think you should try to fix it.

Jon said...

My pool has been open since tuesday before prom, and the hottub was broken, had a leak, and is now fixed. So yes it is open.

Abby said...

the prom looked fun

dances go beyond overrated (see my post on over and underrated things)... and they're stressful, besides

that sounds like it'd be histarical (the match thing); if you ever pull it together, you'll have to show me the tape, sam

Carissa said...

ooo! i NEVER give my family link to my blog. Why isn't rachel posting?

allllllllliiiii, where is meee said...

i would never in 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 yrs let my family see my blog
if i had a blog
which i don't
the end
p.s. "oh no the vice president's a vampire! call the government!!"

hong said...

that match thing is hilarious