Women fear me. Fish fear me. Sharks fear me. I was born yesterday in a barn not far from a town called East Greenbush, New York. Was I the child of God? Of course! Did I meet my wife at a neighbors quinceañera? Sí, sí! And did I speak at a dear friend's funeral? Regrettably yes! Don’t tell anyone but I took delight in it. He died in a magnet fishing accident - like many magnet fishermen in the upstate area he pulled up an old grenade. It was primed from the beginning and fired as soon as he called the sheriff. I told a charming story with a thoughtful coda about the nature of love and life that made everyone laugh and cry. But like everything the story was secretly about me.
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