Sunday, December 01, 2013

SAM AUSTIN IS UP LATE WORRYING ABOUT HIS NAGGING ANKLE INJURY

ANKLE
I am confused about feeling sore.

SAM
Yes I know.

ANKLE
Sometimes running hurts me.

SAM
Yes.

ANKLE
And other times it doesn’t.

SAM
I know.

ANKLE
Sometimes it hurts to lift weights but not always.

SAM
I know. Yes.

ANKLE
Sometimes sitting too long hurts but other times it makes me feel better. Other times a brace can help but then later it just makes things worse.

SAM
I know all of this.

ANKLE
I wish I were a master assassin’s ankle.

SAM
Yes I kno- what?

ANKLE
If I were the ankle of a master assassin I would never hurt. I would always be fine.

SAM
What? How is that- why?

ANKLE
Because we would always do sweet stuff together. Master assassin stuff. I would climb up sweet walls and help him steady his aim so he could shoot poison crossbow darts.

SAM
That would not help. You would just hurt more. That would be very strenuous.

ANKLE
I would help him run away from the police after he commits and artfully staged and flawlessly executed hit on an evil foreign diplomat.

SAM
You seem to be losing sight of the problem at hand. Or at foot.

An uncomfortable beat.

ANKLE
You are unfunny and rarely commit planned murders. At best your murders are uncreative and spur of the moment.

SAM
What do you mean. I’ve never committed murder.

ANKLE
Don’t remind me.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

this story has an original perspective. you might even say a "unique ankle".

John Striker said...

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Anonymous said...

I don't even know how I found this but I'm glad I did. If your ankle was a person, I'd ask him out to lunch.