Tuesday, February 21, 2012

1902

Off of PAPERCUT MIXMASTER's groundbreaking new mixtape "The Wuggie Norple Story", 1902 blends Pheonix's vocals with acoustic samples and crunchy drums for a unique track critics have been hailing as "song-like mostly" and "pretty alright".

Friday, February 10, 2012

Brian Duncard, Flyin' Drunkard

This needs revision but I'm trying to post more, you may see a better version of it soon.

****

I'd like to tell a story that I hope you'll think is cool
About a friend named Brian that I met while back in school.
See Brian had a little quirk I bet will get you thinking,
For it would only manifest itself while he was drinking.

When normal people drink, they mostly wake up in a bed,
But Brian always woke up in quite strange locales instead.
He'd wake up in hotel rooms, he'd wake up in a fountain,
He once awoke to find himself on a gigantic mountain.

And Brian never could recall how he would get these places.
Instead of normal memories, he'd only have blank spaces.
Until one Friday night he walked right up to me and said,
"Tonight we should find out why I don't wake up in my bed!"

We watched a movie and he had a beer or seventeen.
And just about at midnight - well, I thought it was a dream -
I couldn't comprehend just what it was I was discovering.
I looked at Brian Duncard and I saw that he was hovering.

When the next morning came I didn't know quite what to do.
He came down from the roof and still he didn't have a clue.
I sat him down and said to him, "now listen closely, Brian,
The fact is when you'd drank enough, you up and started flyin'"

He thought at first what I had said was pure misinformation,
But soon he came to see there was no other explanation.
He stood up from his chair and left my dorm room in a daze,
But not before he grabbed a can of beer while on his way.

And he did not return that night; he'd left the school right then.
It wasn't 'til years later that I saw that man again.
I was on the night shift at the clinic just last week,
When Brian Duncard came in looking haggard, sick, and meek.

I walked to him and cried out, "What has happened, my old friend?"
He winked and said, "I'm fairly certain this could be the end,
And though I don't remember much, I'm certain this is true:
You wouldn't mourn me if you saw the places that I flew."

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Singles' Night

BILL, just shy of 50, dances with LINDA at singles' night. They rock awkwardly back and forth for a while. LINDA has her eyes closed. BILL stares vacantly into the space behind her.

BILL
This is my first time at one of these things.

LINDA
What?

BILL
Yep, it’s true.

LINDA
No, I mean. I didn’t hear you.

BILL
Oh. I said. This is my first time at one of these things. You know. Singles night. I saw it driving home from work, and I thought. What the heck. Singles night.

LINDA
Yeah. It’s. I have a good time.

BILL
Have you been to one before?

LINDA
A couple times I guess. I try to go like. Once a month or whatever.

BILL
Oh, sure.

A pause. They keep dancing.

LINDA
I’m new to the area, see. I moved hear about a year ago.

BILL
Oh?

LINDA
Yeah, and I just. I don’t know many people so I started coming, and it’s. You know. It’s fun.

BILL
Yeah. It’s fun.

LINDA
Yeah.

A pause.

BILL
What do you do? For, like, employment.

LINDA
I’m a lawyer. A criminal defense lawyer.

A pause. They continue dancing.

BILL
And you. You didn’t grow up around here? You just moved here?

LINDA
I’m from Philly.

BILL
Really? Yeah, I think I have some cousins in, like, uh, Ardmore? Is that nearby?

LINDA
Yeah. Well I mean I say I’m from Philly but I’m not, like, from the city. I’m from the suburbs, the. The Main Line, it’s called. I live in Radnor. Ardmore is right down the street.

BILL
Why’d you move up here?

LINDA
I was working for a big firm in the city and they wanted me in one of their satellite offices in Albany.

BILL
Oh, sure. That makes sense.

LINDA
Yeah. What about you? Are you from around here?

BILL
Yeah, I’m from Poughkeepsie. I was working in Seattle after school, you know. Writing user manuals for a tech company out there, but then. Well. My dad wasn’t doing too great or whatever after my mom passed away so I moved back here.

LINDA
Are you employed in the area now?

BILL
Yeah, I work for General Electric. GE Appliances. That’s part of the reason I came, because. Because I work with mostly men, and I thought. You know, I have my poker buddies or whatever but it’s nice- (trails off)

LINDA
To know women?

BILL
Yeah. I guess.

A pause.

LINDA
And you write manuals at GE too?

BILL
Yeah, manuals. It’s. It’s okay work. I like that it’s, you know, pretty cut and dry for me. Because I know how to use the stuff and I just, I. I explain it.

A pause.

BILL
Because you go through life solving problems, right? It’s nice that I can. You know. It’s nice that I can think that I’m helping people solve a few of them. Even if it is, just. With their refrigerator. Like I mean how you help people stay out of jail. That’s.

A pause.

BILL (half trying to laugh)
That’s a lot bigger, I guess.

A pause.

LINDA
But what you do is pretty important too.

BILL
I mean, sure. Yeah.

LINDA
Because. Because people pay me to keep them out of jail, you know. But you get paid to. You help people help themselves.

BILL (sort of weakly)
Ha, yeah, I guess.

LINDA
No, I think. I think really. We need more user manuals, you know? For life. For. For making friends or whatever. For more than, you know. Refrigerators.

BILL
Yeah.

A short beat.

BILL
Yeah. That’d be funny, if we had a. A user manual for life.

LINDA
I’d buy it, though.

BILL
Me too. Who wouldn’t?

Another beat.

LINDA
You can put your arms around my waist if you want.

BILL (flustered)
What. Oh. Yeah oh. I mean. Sure.

LINDA
It’s just because. I only said that because it would have been in the manual.

BILL
What?

LINDA
The life. The user manual for life. For dancing with a girl, it would say- I mean you said you would have bought it so I just figured I’d let you know. It would say, you can put your hands around her waist.

BILL
Oh. Well, thanks.

BILL slips his arms down around LINDA’s waist. They dance a little closer as the lights fade.