Monday, July 21, 2008

Vintage Tests

The scene: an August night, the local park. It is dusk, maybe 7 or 8. The sun is low in the sky. A travel league softball game is going on. A father drills with his co-ed elementary-school-aged soccer team. Birds twitter mercilessly, rivaled only by the hissing of cicadas. A band plays to a crowd of families sitting in the grass, and a few pairs of siblings ride bikes. Some friends play basketball. Adults converse as they watch their children run.

On top of a large hill, SEVENTEEN TEENS are playing ultimate frisbee. Fourteen are on the field; seven on each side. Both sides are in a line, waiting for the pull. One side wears light colors, the other dark. From the top of the hill, the rest of the park can be surveyed; in fact, the entire surrounding area can be seen for miles. The field is marked by cones.

TWO PLAYERS on the light team stand on one side of the field. It is their turn to pull, and PLAYER ONE holds the disk. PLAYER TWO looks out at the field, and also out at the whole park. He sighs.

PLAYER TWO (referring to the landscape and the game)
Never gets old, huh?


Sort of makes you want to... break into song?


Music enter, reminiscent of the Discovery Channel Commercial "Boom De Yada". From this point forward, characters sing.

I love green grass. I love this local park.

PLAYER ONE (shielding his eyes)
I love the bright sun.

I love the dogs that bark.

Oh I love ultimate, with all its awesome plays.

PLAYER ONE begins to run forward, preparing to pull.

Boom de yada! Boom de yada!

He pulls.

HIS WHOLE TEAM (running behind him, like a battle cry)
Boom de yada! Boom de yada!

The DARK TEAM runs up, and the HANDLER catches the pull in the air. His team runs past him, stacks up, and then the first cutter makes his cut. The HANDLER throws.

I love the first cut.

His DEFENDER moves forward and catches it instead of him.

And I love skying you.

His team rushes past. The DEFENDER moves to throw a forehand, the CUTTER gets in the way, stalling him.

I love a forehand.

CUTTER (In the background)
Forcing backhand!

The DEFENDER adjusts and tosses a backhand to the LIGHT HANDLER.

I love a backhand too.

The DEFENDER and the CUTTER run downfield.

Oh I love ultimate. It is the coolest thing.

THE LIGHT HANDLER has it, and a DARK DEFENDER is stalling him. The LIGHT HANDLER sings his part distractedly, primarily looking for a cutter. The DARK DEFENDER stalls him on beat.

LIGHT HANDLER (distracted)
Boom de yada! Boom de yada!

Stalling one! Stalling two!

A LIGHT CUTTER makes a cut downfield. He calls out to the LIGHT HANDLER.

LIGHT CUTTER (in place of the usual "I'm open!"
Boom de yada!

DARK DEFENDER (in the background)
Stalling three!

LIGHT HANDLER (in place of a cry of emotion or exertion)
Boom de yada!

DARK DEFENDER (in place of "up!"; with LIGHT HANDLER)
Boom de yada!

The LIGHT CUTTER makes the catch, turns immediately, and hucks a hammer downfield.

I love the hammers.

A LIGHT CHERRY-PICKER catches the disk at the edge of the endzone.

I love to check my feet!

DARK PLAYER (background, yelling)
Check feet!

He checks his feet, and finds himself in. He spikes the disk.

I love to score points! I love my heart to beat!

The rest of the LIGHT TEAM joins him.

Oh, I love ultimate! It is the sport for me!

A diving montage ensues. Four PLAYERS dive for the disk during random points, the LAST PLAYER catches it in an endzone.

FIRST PLAYER (diving, catching)
Boom de yada!

SECOND PLAYER (diving, catching)
Boom de yada!

THIRD PLAYER (diving, catching)
Boom de yada!

FOURTH PLAYER (diving, catching, scoring, celebrating)
Boom de yada!

Pan out overhead, watching the game of ultimate as well as the entire park.

EVERYONE (fading)
Boom de yada! Boom de yada!

Fade to black.

Credits roll.


**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Click on these pictures to make them big! They are INFINITELY BETTER**

**Picasa isn't cooperating. I'll post improved versions of these later**

**EDIT 2: These are them. They aren't very big, but I really like them. View full please!


tubnanc said...

Ya know, you forgot the part where Jesse face-on into the frisbee..."Boom de yada! B-" *BOOM* gal said...

=) so peaceful, then all of a sudden IT'S A GAME OF ULTIMATE FRISBEE!!!

I want to be the cherrypicker!!!!! =P jk.

BOOM DE YADA! I shall have that chant stuck in my head all night while trying to fall asleep.

& I shall also have my frisbee attire on during camp for ULTIMATE SPIRIT! (Or just because camp ends at 5, and frisbee is at 6, and there's no time to get changed!)

Jedi_Raptor07 said...

Thanks a bunch. I've had that song stuck in my head ever since nerdjedi posted it a week ago and you're not helping!!!

Seriously, love the lyrics, even if I'm not sure about all the terminology (I know diddly about Ultimate Frisbee)

Frances said...

h man >.<

Jon said...

sam if you expect us to sing that while are going to run into a few least with me singing