Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Thoroughly Competent

It was love from the beginning, and it was across a street.

It was perfect, and it was beautiful, and it was across a street.

It was a gas station, and it was an orthodontist's office, and it was across a street.

Because James didn't want to be a gas station attendant, but his wife had just left him and he needed the money because he had paid for law school for her and then, as soon as she graduated, she left him, and he hadn't seen it coming, not even a little bit, and he was interviewing for the job, certain that he could never stoop this low, when he glanced across the street and saw her.

Sherry didn't want to be an Orthodontist's Secretary, but her father had insisted and then that was what she got comfortable with. So she went to Orthodontist's school and came home and lived with her parents and even when they both died (within a week of each other), she stayed in the same room she had always lived in a big, empty Victorian home, afraid to throw out the dolls that were on her dresser because she loved her mom and she missed her mom and she didn't want to say goodbye yet, but one day she looked out the window of the Orthodontist's office and saw him.

And for an entire year, they were in love from afar. James stared at her while she was calling people to see why they hadn't showed up for their appointments, and Sherry stared at him as he sold diet cokes to fat men with SUV's, and sometimes, when neither of them were doing anything, they'd glance up and look at each other and then they'd blush.

And then, one day, James was staring at Sherry and snapped and he had to meet her and he got up and he marched across the road and got hit by a fat man driving an SUV who wasn't paying attention because he had just spilled his diet coke and he died.

Sherry decided to take the rest of the day off. She was suddenly really tired.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's so sad!

They loved from afar but never got to share their love...

Anonymous said...

and can you do a post about Bill Eiderhoffen? He died this saturday... we need to do something to remember him by.

Frances said...

you're right...this WAS really sad. omg...
what was your inspiration ... ?!
aww :(

Anonymous said...

HEY YOU CHANGED IT!!!

It used to say "Sherry went home"

But now it says that she died.
I liked it better before.
It had that sarcastic Sam flare to it.

Jeff said...

...

ouch...

on all levels of the ouch spectrum

Ello said...

Hahahahaha that was funny! Even though it was sad that he died. Hahahahahahahahaha! That was very special.

Jedi_Raptor07 said...

Wow... that sucked.

The fact that he got hit by an SUV, not the story itself.

Anonymous said...

*cried, not died. LOL!

And NOW it's changed again...
"Sherry decided to take the rest of the day off. She was suddenly really tired."