Sunday, April 13, 2008

A Gentle Reminder

Yesterday, I wrote it in big black letters on my ceiling, because I didn't want to forget.

I left sticky notes on the table, the door, and my forehead, because I really didn't want to forget.

If I was to forget, that would be horrific. My life as I know it would be over.

So I put a cover on the windshield of my car, figuring I couldn't start driving without noticing this note. I wrote it in shaving cream on my shower, and even went to the trouble of rearranging the cubicles in my office so that, when I would look at the fire escape plan, it would say in bold, glow-in-the-dark letters, "Don't Forget".

I want to make it very clear that I couldn't forget. It just could not happen.

I did a lyrics search for a song titled "Remember", and then downloaded all of those songs, and I made a mix tape to put in my car. I shaved my head and wrote "Don't forget" on it with a sharpie.

I taught my parrot to tell me to remember, instead of him swearing like usual, and I told all my friends to text me at certain times, so that, if I was to scroll through my messages, it would say "R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R", in that precise order. I hired a scientist friend to make a machine that would make it so I would dream about the event, so I WOULDN'T FORGET.

I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS THAT I DIDN'T FORGET. I HIRED A BARBERSHOP QUARTET TO SING ME, IN PERFECT THIRDS, THE PHRASE "DON'T FORGET".

Bottom line, my alarm didn't go off.

Damn.

5 comments:

Carissa said...

yay. i liked that one.

Molly Papey said...

How ironic.

Jeff said...

:-P That sucks.

jeff (the not blue one) said...

ha ha ha. nice!

Jedi_Raptor07 said...

lol!

I should've seen that comming.