Friday, March 16, 2007

"Clementine III"


"You're missing the point," she said. "What you're saying makes sense in theory, but not in practice. You're trying to compare apples and oranges."

"Why do you keep saying that?" he asked in response. "Apples and oranges aren't that different, really. I mean, they're both fruit. Their weight is extremely similar. They both contain acidic elements. They're both roughly spherical. They serve the exact same social purpose. With the possible exception of a tangerine, I can't think of anything more similar to an orange than an apple. If I was having lunch with a man who was eating an apple and-while I was looking away-he replaced that apple with an orange, I doubt I'd even notice. So how is this a metaphor for difference? I could understand if you said, 'That's like comparing apples and uranium,' or 'That's like comparing apples with baby wolverines,' or 'That's like comparing apples with the early work of Raymond Carver,' or 'That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.' Those would all be valid examples of profound disparity. But not apples and oranges. In every meaningful way, they're virtually identical."

"You're missing the point," she said again, this time for different reasons.

--Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto.

17 comments:

nerdjedi said...

I like the quote.

Carissa said...

perty

Jeff said...

It's like comparing apples to space invaders wearing pink fuzzy bunny slippers!

Jedi_Raptor07 said...

Actually, I do think that if you replaced an apple someone was eating with an orange, they'd notice. But that's just me.

It's like comparing apples to a Bentley Continental GT!

Abby said...

It's like comparing apples to wrist watches.

Spartan said...

Its like comparing apples to...uh...things that are...um..not apples?

kelly h said...

what was the point of this?

Anonymous said...

It's like comparing apples to peanut butter and bananas. hah.

kelly h said...

i didn't mean that question to sound mean. i was just asking. i thought the post was very funny.

Joepoe said...

Peanut butter tastes great on apples! Not so much oranges.

Ali said...

w00t. prety picture.

monica said...

eww...peanut butter on APPLES?!

i like the quote. =)

Ali said...

this Chuck Klosterman dude sounds exactly like you.

Joepoe said...

Shutup Monica! Peanut butter and apples go great together. You all just never tried it. Just like pretzels and ice cream go well. What, you've never heard of that one either? Ack! Idiots!!!!!! My friends are a bunch of nerd idiots!

nerdjedi said...

I'll have to try the pretzels and ice cream. Sounds good.

Whipped cream is good on lots of things. It's great on pop-tarts and cookies.

kelly h said...

hey! i like peanut butter on apples.

Tim. you would put anything on anything.

and whipped cream on poptarts?!

Joepoe said...

I appologize for my rude comments earlier today. I was just in a bad mood. But I shouldn't be because I am turning fifteen tommorow. I'm still jailbate, but w/e.