Friday, October 06, 2006

"Art Form"

**NOTE: There is some swearing. You've been warned!**

There really an art to it.

One there, two over there, and three more coming in.

An artist uses a paintbrush to draw on his canvas. But he plans it out first.

A lot of my job is planning.

Another bang. This table isn't gonna last.

Shit. Time for moving.

I rolled and aimed again, taking down the two next to the washing machine. The other was blasting randomly, but he was just trying to add to the chaos. He was behind a sofa, and was too cowardly to actually look out to fire.

I dived behind the dining room table in time to hear the thumps from the three others upstairs. I pulled out one of my homemade grenades and tossed it behind the couch. The guy squealed.

For like two seconds.

The three others tumbled down the stairs and I got two of them before the third dived behind the sofa.

What is it with these people and their fucking sofa?

I didn't want to waste another grenade, so I just sprinted past the sofa and blew him to pieces from behind the coffee table.

I put a new clip in my glock and then stuck it in the holster. I took out the 12 guage. This next room was going to be messy.

Sometimes I liked to give advice to the people I was killing.

Run, you idiot!

No, not over there! I can kill you over th-

See? Now you're dead. Nice going.

How 'bout you? Are you any better. Ooh, a molotov cocktail. That's creative. Only it slipped out of your hand. And hit the ceiling. And you killed yourself. Pity.

I stepped out from the doorway and took down a couple of ill-equipped stragglers. One tried to throw a knife and the other actually tried to tackle me. What is this, a football game? Moron.

I finally found the briefcase behind the refridgerator. I also helped myself to a jar of pickles.

I slipped out the window and crawled down the fire-escape, sliding down the ladder and into the alleyway.

There were two men there, looking at my bloody trench-coat.

I thought "what are you looking at?" might be a little too obvious, but it did the trick. They went back to their cigarettes.

I caught the bus back to my apartment and opened the case.

Everything was in there.

I changed the combination on the case and went to put it behind my bed.

I went out, and crossed the street to the smoky bar I so often found my refuge at, pushing through the grimy door and greeting the bartender.

"And how was your evenin', Mr. Georges?"

"Fine, thank you."


I made these:


Jeff said...

Very nice. Same personality showed throughout the story.

nerdjedi said...


Is this the same George from your "Blog Noir" series?

Ali said...


who's george?

angie said...

the match movie- you told me that idea such a long time ago. werent' you gonna do it for the variety show or something? i'm glad you finaly did it though.

Abby said...

yeah, is this a continuation of blog nior?

the first movie was very very funny. I loved the british accent especially.

actually, the second one was also really cool, but I'd seen that one before and I probably told you then that it was really cool, so yeah.

Abby said...

oh, and by the way, I'm glad to see you're writing again as well as the photos and movies and stuff :-)

kelly h said...

cool story. thanks for the warning.

i LOVED your first film. The Lion King Rocks. it also reminded me of Tuck Everlasting. i have a huge craving to watch the movie...

the second movie was boring.

kelly h said...

ok, i just saw the funniest youtube video. eveyone has to watch it. here's the site.

funny funny.

Jen said...

xD yeah, I was thinking what Angie was thinking.

Becky said...

You can make movies, too?

I love the matchstick one.
It's all artsy.
The first one was really funny, though. So s'all good.

Sam's crazy talented. o:

Ali said...

how did you know that the matches werent going to light your finger on fire??? that's my question.

angie said...

kelly you freaky man. that wasn't funny!

Spartan said...

who is trojan?

Jedi_Raptor07 said...

Nice, only the G in Glock should be capitalized.


Jedi_Raptor07 said...

One more thing; do you know where I can get one of the guns you used in the Circle of Life video. That thing had like a 100 round mag!

viking said...

yo- who's trojan??? (this is angie, by the way)

monica said...

i like the first one better but they were both awesome...

Carissa said...

hmmm. i think i've heard about the latter video from you before. like. i don't know. end of last year???

Carissa said...

ooo. but people already said that. maybe i should read comments before commenting...
are you better? can u come to marching band today!?!?!?

angie said...


Becky said...

What Trojan?
Where did this come from?

...-is out of the loop-

Anonymous said...

He or she is a brand of condoms.

He or she was also probably just kidding and commented once. Angie, you proposed to a bunch of people over on maddie's blog and also proposed that we move to Utah.

I think you guys should understand that this person is kidding.

Leah said...

I'm confused. Where did the Trogan question come from?

Jedi_Raptor07 said...

What's with this "Who's Torjan" thing? I checked the last few posts and didn't see a comment from anyone called Torjan.

Also, I take back what I said about GLOCKs. Give me a pair of Gold-Plated .45 Automatics any day.


Jen said...

While we're talking about this, "trojan" is a fatal virus in which someone can control your computer through the internet.

If that's what this "trojan" is named after, then they must be somebody really computery.

Jen said...

*looks* Oh, Trojan's comment must have been deleted. I forget what he said...

Anonymous said...

First of all, this is what Trojan said:

"trojan said...

hey. i "heart" spartan.

10/06/2006 8:45 PM "

Second, it was on the last post, not this one.

Third, "Trojan" refers to people from Troy. This is similar to how "Spartan" refers to someone from Sparta, and "American" refers to someone from America.

There's also the famed Trojan Horse of mythological fame. It was basically a big horse made of wood that people went inside, and used to sneak into the main city of Troy, thus winning the Trojan war.

And Jen, there is no "Trojan" computer virus. "Trojan horses" are malicious computer programs disguised as or embedded in harmless ones. Hackers/other people can use them to take control of a computer.

I find it very sad that none of/very few of you realized that.

vanquisher of anonymous-ness said...

first anonymous = sam

second anonymous = tim

trojan = angie/maddie/kelly

deal with it

Jen said...

:P Yeah, trojan horse. That's what I meant. I know what it is; my computer had it. @___@;;

Carissa said...


Jeff said...

I think it's safe to say that everyone knew about the Trojan Horse of legend.

Spartan said...

Trojan isn't maddie or angie. I know that for a fact.

Spartan said...

i could be wrong about maddie though...

angie said...

maddie was dumb to accuse me. if i was trojan, i would just admit it! therefore, it was probably her. case solved. thank you vanquisher.

kelly h said...

trojan isn't me!!!

and seriously, if you didn't know about the trojan horse, you should be in elementary school. 2nd anonymous, that was an insult to my intelligence.


hehe. i'll make a man out of you. that should have been my theme song saturday night.

kelly h said...

jeff was right, sam does get a lot of comments.