Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Blog Conclusion, Part 5

The knife hit the ground with a clang.

"Well, that just wraps up this case, eh, detective?"

The man in the mask laughed. I picked up the knife and threw it.

He sidestepped the blow easily as his armed goons lowered their weapons.

"Let's be a little more careful now, detective. We wouldn't want anything to happen to Alice now, would we?"

He paused as he glanced pointedly at the woman, who was sobbing gently behind me.

"Before the police get here, I believe it might be good to let you know just who I am. I do believe we've met, but we were never very..."

He paused in thought, as if thinking what the next word would be.

"...close."

The face mask dropped silently to the floor, as the man slid his hood back. Standing before me was a tall form I had seen so many times before.

"Peter?"

He laughed. "Of course. I believe you must be quite confused at this point, but you must have some idea. You put me out of business, George. You have jailed and killed so many of my customers I have no more income. But I knew there was one thing I could do. I ransacked the girl's apartment as a favor to a friend of mine."

He smiled down at the body tied to the pole in the ground.

"I knew you would get the case, George. You were the only detective in these parts, and the police are so unreliable in little cases like these. So I planted the cocaine, knowing you would come to talk to me. I let you think that you extracted the information that I didn't want to give you, but I was happy to give it to you all along."

"I sent some goons after you to make you come back to see me. I never intended them to be any threat to you, but in the unlikely event that they were, I was standing with a sniper rifle on the building across the street, looking in your window. You can't imagine how worried I was when Alice here got in the way of my shot. If you died, the plan would be ruined. The goons would be traced back to me by the police. You can't imagine how relieved I was when Alice did my job for me and killed the one threatening you."


"So you came to see me and I caught you. Alice was so gullible."

He looked at her. "Your sister is dead, I'm sorry to say. We had to kill her so if you called her no one would answer."

Alice broke into a fresh cycle of sobbing now, much louder then before. He walked over to me, taking the gun out of my pocket.

"I was counting on you bringing your revolver like you normally did, but you brought your shotgun. I spent a lot of time looking for this gun. Your apartments wreck. But I guess that's just how criminals live."

He took out a bullet and placed it in the magnum, spinning the chamber around so it would fire.

"So now you know the story. I had to give you the magnum because it was the only thing you could open the door with. Leaving the door unlocked would not give us enough time to prepare ourselves for what would need to happen next. We chased you into this room, and I knew you would kill John here, thinking it was whoever was talking. But as a great mastermind, I needed to think of one more thing. Why would you kill John? What reason would you have?"

He looked back at Alice.

"You were cheated on. Your lover, Alice over there, cheated on you with John. So you tied him up and killed him."

He raised the revolver and fired before I could do anything to stop him.

Alice never even had a chance to scream. She hit the floor, dead, a bullet hole in her chest.

"But you were also mad at Alice for cheating, so you killed her, too. How very cruel of you."

He looked around at the carnage he had created.

"The police will be here soon, detective. I must be going."

He tossed the gun to me and walked out of the room.

The lock made a clicking sound.

The End.

18 comments:

Ali said...

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!?!?!? WHY DID EVERYONE *DIE*?!?!?!?!

andrew said...

Well...

That sucks. For George, I mean.

Now I'm all depressed. Man, I definitely didn't see that one coming. That was sad. How does he get out of it? You know what, bag that question. WRITE ME A HAPPY ENDING RIGHT NOW! Or at least one that doesn't have everyone die.

nerdjedi said...

I'm with Andrew.

We deamnd a happier ending.

kelly h said...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!! THAT SUCKED!!!! seriously, you were doing great, and then you ruin it!
I agree w/ tim and andrew!!!! I want a happy ending.
I DON'T WANT ALICE TO DIE. THAT'S NOT HOW A GOOD LOVE STORY WORKS. she's supposed to be hit, but not dead right away. then you run to her side. "Alice, oh no alice. What have i done?! i love you, don't leave me!" then Alice says "These last few days with you were beyond my wildest dreams. Don't ever forget me. I-- I love you ....(falls down dead). Then you go" No, don't leave me. Alice. ALICE!!!!!!!

Then you angrily look at the killer and kill him in revenge for Alice. The police come and somehow you get off even.

- a better ending would be that you both live happily ever after, but the world's not perfect. Think of Jack and Rose in Titanic. Jack. WAHH! :-(

Sri said...

I concur with everyone. You were doing great, and then you go and just... ruin the party, man. Not cool.

Jen said...

ALICE!!! NO!!!!

*agrees with Andrew, Tim, and Kelly*

Abby said...

Wow. Sam, I am impressed. You pulled the conspiracy together very well... if by way of a depressing ending. I thought Alice could have used a little more attention in the dialog (especially in that last segment, what with her sister being murdered), but it was by no means a major fault in the story line. Major snaps.

Anonymous said...

no one comment until sam give us a better ending!

Susan said...

well, sam, your friends seem to not like the ending, but i'm so sick of happy endings all the time where everything turns out just peachy, so GREAT STORY!! hope you had a good first day at school today (i wonder if alex survived). enjoy litmag tomorrow. see you at band. heh heh.

relinquisher of anonymous-vanquishing said...

anonymous is Andrew

vanquisher of anonymous-ness said...

relinquisher of anonymous-vanquishing is sam

and he was wrong

anonymous is tim

Jon said...

Okay, ummm do you people really know Sam...I saw him doing that ending a mile away, or atleast as soon as the fourth part was over with. And personally I like it better, screw the happy endings. Sam is a cynical CYNICAL kid, and you thought a happy ending would be done. You people are very much too bought out by movies, always a happy ending, pshaw is what I say. Go back to your disney-always-a-happy-go-lucky ending and just don't make a sound.
Bravo Sam, excellent ending, do not change it.

angie said...

NOT COOL. the romantic people are supposed to live forever in happiness, not die and go to jail.

Sam's Sister said...

i totally agree with jon. give it up people- there is no way sam will change the ending and you guys making such a big deal is only making him happier. which is ok. because a happy sam is better than an unhappy sam. although a happy sam is a more cynical sam. one who would not would not eat green eggs and ham. don't mind me.

anyway i loved the story but I think we need more blogs about real life. it would be nice.

Andrew said...

Anonymous was not me. I enjoy reading comments; my asking people to not comment makes no sense.

Also, I agree w/ Kelly: YOU CAN'T LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THIS! He should somehow get revenge on Peter and his gang. If you don't than this is one H-E-Double-Hockey-sticks of a crappy ending.

I have to ask: did you intend to end the story like this from the beginning, or did you just quick wrap it up because school was starting>

Sam said...

the VOA made slight slip-up. I was under no circumstances the relinquisher of anonymous-vanquishing, as last night at 7:56 P.M. I was at Guys and Dolls rehearsal.

Jeff said...

In my personal opinion, I'm fine with everyone dying and all...but it really wasn't as good as the rest of it. In fact, I agree with killing off Alice and the whole Peter plot twist was nice...romantic subplots can only carry a story so far...but it wasn't written quite as well as the other four parts. In my personal opinion, of course.

vanquisher of anonymous-ness said...

you might have been away at 7:56 pm, but you were there at 8:22 pm, when the relinquisher commented