Do-Overs

"Do-Overs" is mash-up artist and Brad Pitt look-a-like PAPERCUT MIXMASTER's second single off of his mixtape The Wuggie Norple Story. Samples include Steely Dan, Caro Emerald, and the U.S. Naval Drum Corp. Upon the track's release, one of the artist's many fans was reported to have raved "well if you're done then will you please take the garbage out like I asked you this afternoon."

The Inheritance

On Sunday I left the milk out. By accident, I mean.
I just forgot to put it away
after I finished watching TV.
But when I picked it up on Monday it was still cold,
Like I had just taken it out of the fridge.

Something has been breaking down around here, man,
And I can’t put my finger on it except to say
I have powers.
The holes in my shirts have been fixing themselves overnight.
My cereal turned into gasoline. I think I can control mosquitoes.

Today is Thursday, and the milk is on the counter,
Still sweating it out, still just, you know, just chilling.
So I pick it up and drink it, straight from the carton.
It just feels right. And the taste is fresh and rich
And so, so cold,
with a flavor like I’ll never get another sunburn,
like maybe I could turn one of my hands invisible,
and like I could learn to fly
for a few minutes at a times, at least.

Barton Fortsworth, 20, on the lecture he attended with his roommate while under the influence of salvia

Not based on a true story.

****

We were going to class,
See. My roommate and I. This long lecture class.
Two hours. Ethnomusicology.
And so I say to Jesse. That’s my roommate. Jesse. I say
let’s smoke a bowl in the facilities closet
right beforehand. And he says, yeah, okay.
And so we do, except apparently my dealer mixed up his stuff
Because we smoked salvia. That’s not illegal I learned,
But I wouldn’t recommend it for pregaming a class with.

Shortly after we got to the room I was a book.
People just stared at me. No one said a word.
I was certain they were reading me because
My torso had split open and there was a story there.
Jesse told me that it was raining long diagonal lines and
He was falling down them, but I don’t remember that at all.

My vision stopped vibrating in the bathroom.
I had stumbled out just after class had started,
Pausing only for a second to put on my jacket
That I sewed deftly of the quilted walls.
As I wandered back I realized I no longer feared death
Which worked out because Jesse was certainly going to kill me.